When Amy Kessel reached out to me to do this interview, I was immediately smitten. I’ve known her “in this space” as a life coach (and transformational muse) whose work I’ve appreciated and admired for a while now. It was her warmth and transparency that REALLY pulled me in (am a glutton for warmth and transparency). I knew I was dealing with a woman in her process. In her joy and in her wisdom. Yes, I liked her very much.

And how much she loves her work in the world? Her THING? Shivery goosebumps of resonance. Frankly, it’s precisely what we deeply desire for you.

So I asked her to please say more. From the sunshine of Rome, she delivered.

What’s your thing?

Amy Kessel: My thing is so much a part of me it’s hard to even call it a “thing”.  It’s what others have appreciated in me and what I have sought constantly since I was a teenager. It’s my ability to connect deeply in a no-bullshit, straight to the heart kind of way that enables whomever I’m with to see themselves more clearly than they could otherwise.  My thing creates a win-win situation: I find myself most fully at home in that raw space of heart level conversation, and the other person is thrilled and empowered by seeing her wisdom reflected back to her.

Sigh.

The tragedy is that I spent most of my career ignoring this gift in favor of using skills I half-heartedly honed in work I didn’t love.  And the pinch-me-I’m-dreaming incredibly good news is that I finally figured out how to turn my thing into a Thing.  In other words, I now get paid to do what I love and what I’m genetically programmed for.  My coaching practice brings me deep-diving women who are ready to get real with themselves.  I connect again and again, and bring to our conversation my innate gift along with my coaching tools.  Our work together is fulfilling to me on a level I had no idea was possible.

Double sigh.

Was finding your thing the result of a divine revelation, an insane invention, a culmination of insights…or something else?

Amy Kessel: I love this question.  When my youngest child was toddling around and I was beginning to think about life after fulltime mommying, I started asking the universe for clues.  My hunch was that I wanted my work to be aligned with who I had become since I’d left the non-profit world years before.  I wanted flexibility, independence and creativity to be part of my work.  I wanted to lead with my values, and top of the list was connection.

I had no idea what that might look like.

So finding my thing was the result of staying true to myself, staying with the discomfort of open-ended questions, and being game to explore.  I found my way to life coaching with an attitude of willing experimentation, rather than any kind of certainty that it would be a good fit.

I don’t know if it was a divine revelation, but I do know that I have never looked back.

Obstacles/fears/doubts – what were they, how’d you vanquish them?

Amy Kessel: I didn’t!  Fears and doubts are here and won’t be going away anytime soon, as far as I can tell.  I have all the standard variety fears, plus a nice selection of my own personal best.  I work with them by inviting them to the table, to see if there’s some wisdom I can glean from them.  And then I put them where they belong, at the sidelines, and I get on with my business.

It’s absurd to imagine we can vanquish fears.  I prefer to see myself and my clients as courageous open-hearted warriors with bellies full of butterflies.  Each time I overcome an obstacle in my path, it’s by choosing to believe the reliable voice I have within.  This voice may be quieter and less screechy than the voices of fear, but it is true wisdom itself.  When I allow myself to hear it, it’s accurate beyond belief.

What questions did you ask yourself to trigger your a-ha moments…and what signs and milestones should others be looking for in their journeys?

Amy Kessel:  What am I doing when I feel most at ease?

What makes me thrive?

Why do I want what I want?

What am I pretending not to know?

What wants to unfurl in me?

How can I best be of service to myself and others?

Starting with big questions, especially those that make us squirm, is a great way to find our paths and start walking them.  And making peace with not knowing the answers is a crucial aspect of these journeys.

Watch for signs that warn you that you have veered off course, as well as signs that remind you you’re on your way.  The best initial gauge is the body.  Listen to it, as it doesn’t know how to lie.  Heed its warning.  Or else!

To me, milestones are less important as stand-alones, and more helpful in reminding us of what we want and why we want it.  When we settle on what it is that makes us feel most alive, our job is simply to use that to navigate our way toward it.  All roads lead to Rome*, so even a path that turns out to be dead-end is an opportunity to find another route.  Use milestones to sustain you on your journey; they provide proof that we’re on course, and they give us opportunities to celebrate our progress.  (Champagne, anyone?)

The hard part is finding your why.  Once you’ve got that, and you call it your compass, the rest is a walk in the woods.

 

*Side note: this post was written on a sunny afternoon in Rome. 

***

Ahhhh…”willing experimentation”. I think of this trying different remedies to soothe the itch, but holding the scientific method (remember this from grade school?): Ask the question. Do the research. Create the hypothesis. Experiment. Draw your conclusion. 

Am also appreciating the “listen to the wisdom of the fears” as well as the call to “listen to the wisdom of the body”.

AND making peace with the discomfort of not knowing the answers. THIS. IS. BIG. Not forcing, not white-knuckling. Allowing. Unfurling. UnFURLING…this is a strong visual and one that is important in Amy’s work.

So in Amy’s honour, let’s start there: what wants to unFURL in you?

(let’s talk about this – really chew it over – on Facebook)

——–

You can find Amy Kessel at her site www.amykessel.com; on Twitter; or Facebook.

————-

pssst: if you’d like to share your story (or question!) with Thing Finding Thursday, please e-mail me at whatsmything@tanyageisler.com.

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Source: The Town Crier

Mary-Margaret McMahon is something of a Rock Star in my neighbourhood.

Her official bio: Mary Margaret McMahon is the city councillor for Ward 32 Beaches East York where she’s lived with her family for 20 years. A consummate neighbourhood advocate and connector, Councillor McMahon helped found the East Lynn Farmers Market on Danforth, has organized community socials, greening and gardening initiatives and worked as a senior manager and education leader. Her outgoing personality and positive contribution to the neighbourhood is what the citizens appreciate most about her.

Well, yes. And she is fearless, bold and committed. And a hell of a lot of fun.

This anecdote from The Toronto Star does a fine job of stating my case:

She’s dressed in a giant peapod costume, walking along the Danforth on a hot summer’s afternoon, urging passersby to visit the farmers’ market she helped organize in a nearby park.

A bunch of teenage boys are pointing and snickering at her. McMahon follows them into a convenience store and pointedly asks: “What? Don’t you guys like vegetables?” The teens are stunned by her frankness and are forced to admit they like vegetables, including peas.

How she went from “political unknown” stay-at-home Mama to wildly popular (unseating four-term incumbent by 9000 votes) City Councillor fascinates me. So of course I had to ask her about it.

What’s your thing?

Mary-Margaret McMahon: Helping people.

Was finding your thing the result of a divine revelation, an insane invention, a culmination of insights…or something else?

Mary-Margaret McMahon: Staying home with my kids gave me the opportunity to volunteer.

Volunteering gave me the opportunity to see how much small gestures, time, and energy can make a huge difference to someone. That made me feel wonderful.  So I got hooked.  I also grew up in a home with parents who were/are huge volunteers.

After I saw what I could accomplish in our pocket, I thought why not spread the volunteer bug and empower people across the ward and city to build better neighbourhoods?!

Obstacles/fears/doubts – what were they, how’d you vanquish them?

Mary-Margaret McMahon: The more I spoke to people about my idea, the more they empowered me!  Some tried to talk me out of it but I am very obstinate.  I worried about not having a Campaign Manager but was hopeful one would come out of the woodwork at some point.  S/he never did!!  But it didn’t matter!

Knocking at doors was so much fun and very empowering!  Some people berated me but it was good practice and gave me a thicker skin.

Plus I am an eternal optimist and absolutely love people!

What questions did you ask yourself to trigger your a-ha moments…and what signs and milestones should others be looking for in their journeys?

Mary-Margaret McMahon: I didn’t really ask myself anything except why not spread my enthusiasm across the ward and encourage people to be the change they wish to see.

***

Here’s what I’m taking away from Mary-Margaret’s experience:

1. Talk to your people – Get their perspectives. Help them help you get excited about your thing. Let them in.
2. Volunteer – see what fits.
3. Walk your talk – literally.

And that asking yourself “WHY NOT spread my gifts and enthusiasm?” - and answering it with action – feels essential.

So let’s start there: what are YOUR gifts that you’d enthusiastically like to share?

(let’s talk about this – really chew it over – on Facebook)

——–

You can find Mary-Margaret at her site http://www.councillormcmahon.com.

————-

pssst: if you’d like to share your story (or question!) with Thing Finding Thursday, please e-mail me at whatsmything@tanyageisler.com.

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You know Chris Guillebeau, right? He’s the founder of The Art of Non-Conformity and he’s taking over the world…literally. His mission is “world domination” – but in the good way. In the “do what you love, make it happen, make life count, be good to others” way. He’s devoted to building an empire of world-changers, and, along the way, travelling the world. Really travelling it. Like, he plans to visit every country on the map before he’s 35.

And oh yes, he just had his first book – aptly called “The Art of Non-Conformity” – published.

That’s a lot of living. That’s serious living and there’s no map for it. Chris Guillebeau has actually invented his thing…

…so how’d he know how to do that – and then have the confidence to do it?

I wanted to know and I thought you’d want to know too, so I asked him.

What’s your thing?

Chris Guillebeau: Well, I don’t have just one thing — it’s a chaotic blend of a few different passions. I love travel and have been on a quest to visit every country in the world for the past four years. I’m a writer and try to publish at least 1,000 words a day in one form or another. I’m an entrepreneur and have never had a job. I go on tour and meet with my readers all over the world, in at least twenty countries a year.

But when you put these things together, I came up with a theme of non-conformity, or helping people to think differently and live unconventional lives. This is my main project that I work on continually.

Was finding your thing the result of a divine revelation, an insane invention, a culmination of insights…or something else?

Chris Guillebeau: Probably “something else.” I love divine revelation stories, but for most of us I think it’s more of a series of steps. I always wanted to be a writer, but I didn’t get serious about it until after I had lived overseas for a while and was turning thirty. I also began traveling quite a bit more then, and the two went together.

Another thing that’s important to mention is that my work wasn’t very good in the beginning. This isn’t false modesty; it’s the reality for almost everyone who pursues a career or even just a passion in some kind of creative work. That’s why it’s so important to keep going and continuously improve yourself. Perhaps the “insane invention” comes about after the 10,000 hours of refining oneself.

Obstacles/fears/doubts – what were they, how’d you vanquish them?

Chris Guillebeau: I still have many of them. I think the goal isn’t so much to vanquish fear, because in some ways fear will always be with you. The goal is to find a way to channel those fears into something positive and motivating. I think a lot about regrets, and when you frame things in terms of looking back later, it becomes easier. Most of us regret the things we haven’t done much more than the things we’ve done.

So I try to make myself jump even when I’m afraid or doubtful, in other words.

What questions did you ask yourself to trigger your a-ha moments…and what signs and milestones should others be looking for in their journeys?

Chris Guillebeau: What do I really want?

How can I make that happen?

What do I need to give up or sacrifice to receive what I really want?

How will my life impact others?

How can I encourage, inspire, or otherwise help others?

Who would I like to be? (What roles would I like to have?)

Is that all? (Usually there’s more… I always push people to go further.)

Regarding signs and milestones, yes, I think it’s important to have markers along the way where you can identify progress. For example, some might say “I’d like to publish a book one day.” This is a great goal, but there are many signs and milestones en route to its culmination. A few would include finding an agent, writing a proposal, pitching to publishers, receiving an offer, completing draft #1, moving to the editing phase, and so on. The more specific you can make your goals, the better — otherwise we tend to get overwhelmed or give up.

***

You know what I hear in all that wisdom Chris Guillebeau is throwing down? I hear that it’s all incremental. I hear that you get better and better at what you do and clearer and clearer about who you are as you do it.

And that asking yourself what you really want to do – and answering it with action – is essential.

So let’s start there: what do YOU really want to do?

(let’s talk about this – really chew it over – on Facebook)

——–

You can find Chris Guillebeau at his blog, The Art of Non-Conformity; on Twitter; or Facebook.

————-

pssst: if you’d like to share your story (or question!) with Thing Finding Thursday, please e-mail me at whatsmything@tanyageisler.com.

————————

What’s YOUR Thing? If you’re trying to find your thing, then my newsletter is the thing for you. Get Thing Finding Thursday updates, plus:

A chance to win a Clarity Session (monthly drawing), and

Top secret and supershiny notices, events and discounts.

------------------------

What's YOUR Thing? If you’re trying to find your thing, then signing up for updates is the thing for you. Get Thing Finding Thursday updates, plus:

Top secret and supershiny notices, events and discounts.

I love throwing parties. I love bringing people together. I love signature cocktails, the excuse to arrange lavish floral arrangements, and ironing the white linen napkins. I love planning the cheese tray. I love the loot bags.

So yes. I love throwing parties. And I’m told by my friends that I’m pretty good at it.

It’s in the details. And possibly, the love.

Lead With Your Strengths. In All Things, Including Launches.

So, when Kelly and I discussed how to launch my happy new site (that she and Amanda done did as red+purple), she answered simply (and with what I make up would have been a “duh” expression in her eyes): throw a party.

You heard the “duh” in that too, right?

Yup. Got it.

One slight problem: how do you throw a party with no cheese tray, flowers, white linens, or cocktails?

Answer: loot bag!!

Goody goody good good. I love giving stuff away.

Problem there (party-planning’s all about problem solving, turns out): I have a pretty happy busy coaching practice and not a ton of time to give away (like I did last time). It’s a champagne problem and a reality. I have no products (yet) other than my beloved Joy Pages (which I’ve been giving out anyways – grab yours here).

Kelly patiently pointed out that in addition to giving good party, I also make good friends.

And?

“Generous friends.”

Huh?

“Generous friends who have products.”

Blank stare.

“Generous friends who have products that your readers would want to have.”

Crickets.

“Jesus, Tanya. Ask your generous friends with products if they would give you a copy of said digital product for Swag Bag of Magnificence and then give it away to one super lucky person!”

Why would they want to do that?

“Woman. Read your own words on the topic: people want to help. ESPECIALLY your generous friends. Hell, I want to help and you haven’t even asked: so you can have a Red Shoe Blogger session”.

Right. I know this to be true. I see it time and time again.

So I write what I hope is an elegant ask of Danielle, Dyana, Pam, Jen, Carrie, Tara, Amanda, Michelle, Jamie and Kelly. And then hold my breath.

10 asks. 10 effusive yes’s. Over $1100 of digital gorgeousness.

How did I get so lucky?

Carrie: “You got so lucky by being you.”

Stunned.

So, with the Swag Bag of Magnificence, Magnified secured, off we go our separate ways: Amanda designing, Kelly writing, Tanya party planning (and nail-biting: “what of no one shows up?”). Launch date: July 26^th 2011.

Wherein the Best-Laid Launch Plan Goes Awry

Then, on July 7th, T minus 20, it happens: kablooey. My existing site blows up.

Well not really, exactly. But kinda sorta.

Let’s just say the email that I received at 6:30 that morning while at the gym read:

We are very sorry to hear your ‘public_html’ folder has been deleted. Unfortunately, we do not keep a backup of your files. You would need your webmaster to manually restore those files. In the future, please ensure you run the ‘Backup Wizard’ on a regular basis. 

In other words: kablooey.

Once it’s established that no one died (this is good), and the tears and expletives have subsided, we are left with this: I am a coach without a website. There is only one solution that we can entertain: launch the new site, stat. Two weeks earlier than planned.

Did I mention Amanda 9++ months pregnant and days overdue?

Didn’t think so.

A three day workback is drafted. It must get done. There is no time to iron the linens – paper napkins will have to do. There is no time for fear no-shows. There was no time to even get in my own damned way. The SNAFU made sure of that.

Funny thing about urgency: it tames fear and strips back to what’s essential.

And Essential is Excellent

Between Kelly, Amanda, my Rock Star VA, and I, we get it done. Amanda fixed code during contractions. I couldn’t make that up.

And it launches. And they come. BOY, do they come.

It’s a party of epic proportions.

Loving emails, tweets of congratulations, Facebook “likes” and phone calls flood in.

The results: My cheeks hurt from smiling, “thank you” has started to lose all meaning and my heart feels like it could burst. In other words: it was pure bliss.

I am grateful. I am radiant. Like my girl Kelly.

And so I’m reminded:

 Ask – Clearly, sincerely, respectfully and nicely. People want to help.

Launch – Wherever you are at. Throw open the doors.

Ask – With your heart and then launch with your heart. It never fails. Nor will you.

++++++++++++

PS – You still have until July 22^nd to win the Swag Bag of Magnificence, Magnified by entering a video of you about stepping into your starring role. Don’t worry about having perfect hair (seriously… did you see MINE in my launch video? Windswept – not the good kind – from having just picked my kid up the ferry docks after her day at Island camp). Shine from where you are. Step into your starring role.

PPS – And once your video is complete, remember to drop the URL in Mr Linky. Otherwise I won’t know about your brilliance and you won’t get entered for the Swag Bag of Magnificence, Magnified. So please get to shining…and linking!

The “Step Into Your Starring Role” Project

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Welcome to my shiny happy new home. Isn’t it something? Don’t you want to spend, like, ALL your time here?

Okay, maybe that’s just me.

But I hope it’s not just me…because really, I put this site together for you.

Because I want you to step into your starring role.

Shine, Baby, Shine

Did you see the message at the top of this page?

Life is a grand production.

Yup, that. And what I mean by that is this:

Your life, as it is now, has been the preparation - the production – needed to launch your next project.

The project where you step into your starring role and your radiance lights up the world.

Project Life, Well Lived. Project You.

‘Cept I know that for you, it isn’t all about you. Your most glorious project – your life – isn’t the “The Me-Me-Me Show”. Instead, your grand production – and mine, too – is about creating and contributing to a better world by becoming a better person.

It’s the mama+oxygen mask theory. If (god forbid) you’re ever on a plane in an emergency situation (oh, those pesky snakes on a plane!), you put your mask on, first. Because by staying conscious, engaged, and intentional, you’re able to use your life help others.

And that’s what today is all about…for you and me.

I launched this grand production – my coaching practice of several years and now this brand-spanking-new site – so I could step into my starring role…

…which is help you shine, by

supporting you as you step into your most glorious, productive, purposeful self

AND

empowering you to use your life and your gifts to instigate change and instill joy.

For yourself and the world. And that’s the grand production I’m on about:

LIFE, starring YOU.

It’s a Joyful, Gratitude-Fueled Journey

If you’ve read my signature guide to the good life, The Joy Pages, you know that I’m rock-solid-certain that

• connecting to your core values,
• aligning your life with your values,
•  infusing your life with joy, and
• radiating gratitude

are the building blocks of the life-stage on which you stand, deliver…and shine.

So right off the top, I must thank Amanda and Kelly for working their red+purple magic. The colours! The message! The groove! Oh…I’m so happy.

These incredible women worked tirelessly on this baby. In fact, speaking of babies, Amanda was still doing a spit-shine on this (virtual) baby between contractions for her (real, live) baby. (Congratulations, honey!) THAT is dedication. And Kelly held my hand during every little bump and managed to made it roller-coaster fun.

So. Clearly I’m happy.

Let’s Celebrate Our Grand Production…with a Premiere

Which means I want to make YOU happy.

That’s my mission (talk about aligning values + action…) as a coach and that’s what this site is all about.

You becoming your most intentional, purposive, radiant you.

And THAT is cause for celebration.

So to celebrate the premiere of our (yours ‘n mine) grand production, I invited my magnificent, magnanimous friends DyanaValentine, Jamie Ridler,  Michelle Ward, Pam Slim, Amanda Oaks, Jen Louden, Danielle LaPorte, Carrie Klassen, Tara Gentile, and Kelly Diels to the party.

And they came bearing gifts.

…So OF COURSE There’s A Swag Bag

Yup, each of these gorgeous, generous women contributed their talents, time and services to make this premiere a premier event.

And I’ve poured all their love and and excellence into one super-fabulous, celebratory, giveaway swag bag.

Here’s what The Swag Bag of Magnificence, Magnified includes:

(in reverse alphabetically order because I know Michelle is done with being last in line with that “W” last name of hers.)

1. Michelle Ward’s Creative Career Cheer Workbook. – Hip hip hooray and grab a beer – her rhyming, illustrated workbook will help find your career to cheer (about)!

2. Michelle Ward’s Declaration of You. Let Michelle Ward, Jessica Swift, and Pierre François Frédéric help you uncover your own definitions/ideas/values/perspective around enthusiasm, money, success, uniquity (yes, that’s a made-up word!), intention, self-care, success, money, celebration, and trust – all leading you to The Declaration of You!

3. Dyana Valentine’s Pitch Perfect Pack – Never get stuck again on the wrong end of “so whattayado”?

4. Jamie Ridler’s Your Creative Spark – SERIOUSLY Inspiring Interviews with 12 Highly Creative Bloggers.

5. Pam Slim’s Ethical Selling that Works – Pam is the Queen of Ethical selling. She’ll show you how to sell your services in the cleanest, clearest and most natural way.

6. Amanda Oaks’ Regiving: The Gifts of Kindness & Laughter: thirty awesome contributors, sixty heartwarming and hilarious stories, five inspirational printable art prints…and a place for you to share your stories!

7. Jen Louden’s Satisfaction Finder – Learn how to be satisfied – how to declare what “enough” is – and liberate your energy, get stuff done, and most importantly: Start enjoying all that you already have…right now.

8. Danielle LaPorte’s The Spark Kit – I KNOW you already know this, but The Spark Kit is the mother of all must-haves digital book-meets-video seminar to help you rock your business… your way, right away.

9. Carrie Klassen’s How to write a Loveable Home Page - It’s like writing a love letter to your ideal client.

10. Tara Gentile’s The Art of Earning – Tara gorgeously helps you shift into a new money attitude. “Because making money should be beautiful.” YES.

11. Kelly Diels’ Red Shoe Blogger Session – A one-hour digital strategy session with Kelly is time with your soul teacher. She’ll help you kapow your whole platform and provide artful, heart-full feedback and strategy to amp it all up.

12. My Joy Pages guide to the good life AND a Clarity session with me (value: $250).

Added up, The Swag Bag of Magnificence, Magnified  is worth $1,100!

(And, perhaps obviously, that’s only a fraction of its true value. I mean, just look at these products and people!)

But Wait, There’s More!

Everyone who enters the giveaway for the one and only Swag Bag of Magnificence, Magnified will also be entered in a lottery to receive a pay-what-you-choose Clarity Session with me (usually priced at $250).

The Step Into Your Starring Role Project

AND NOW…here’s how all that swag (or a Clarity Session) can be yours:

1. Step into your starring role. Literally. Do a quick (2 minute MAX please…PLEASE) video of gorgeous you telling me:

• About your own desire to step into the starring role of your life
• What that would give you/ what it might mean for you
• What needs to be overcome for you to step on out
• How I/we can help you

(For a nerve-busting post on how to do a fabulously effective and ease-filled video, please read DyanaValentine’s awesome “get down on it with video” post.)

2. Sign up for the “Step into your starring role” project below in MrLinky.

3. Upload your video to your own site, tagging it “Step into your starring role”, to YouTubeor Vimeo and come back and drop the link down below.

4. Tweet about it using the hashtag #star.

How the Prizes Will Be Awarded

• A couple of my favourite peeps and I will decide who wins the Swag Bag of Magnificence, Magnified based on the video that displays the most creativity, heart, art and authenticity. So go ahead and glow…that’s how we’ll know it’s you.

• Everyone who participates will have their names entered in the top hat for a pay-what-you-choose Clarity Session…which thirty (30!) of you will win.

THE DEETS:

1. The entry deadline is Friday, July 22, 2011 at 12pm PST / 3pm EST.

2. The winner of the one and only Swag Bag Of Magnificence, Magnified will be announced July 29, 2011 at 12PM PST/3PM EST, via Twitter, Facebook and the Mr. Linky List.

3. Winners of the thirty individual pay-what-you-choose Clarity Sessions with me will be announced August 1st.

4. No purchase is necessary to win.

5. Not redeemable for cash*.

We want to see you…all of you.

So go ahead. Step into your starring role.

PS Now I KNOW I don’t need to say this, ‘cause you’re awesome and wouldn’t try to but the prize pack has no cash value. As in, please don’t win then ask me for $1100 cash.That would neither be cool, nor elegant (nor, given this disclaimer,legal!)

PPS I’d adore it if you subscribed to my mailing list. I only send e-mails when I think it’s really good stuff (like excellent blog posts, compelling offers and the occasional giveaway) and absolutely worth your time (twice a month-ish). Promise.

Last Friday, I was introduced to a practice of mindfulness and supreme focus by my friend Adam. While he IS a wise old soul, he is neither a yoga master nor a Buddhist monk. He is an 8 year old boy who likes Doritos, Ben-Ten and modeling clay figures of Spider Man and he suggested that I give Fimo a whirl. So I did.

Let me preface this by saying I’ve made it a bit of a mission to find wee food items for my daughter’s dollhouse (custom made by my Dad to look like our house…wall colours and all). I pretend that I’m seeking out the cutest foods for my daughter, but when I’m being honest with myself, it’s a quest for me…something unrequited there, I’m sure! Last week, I spent a WHACK of money at the Ex on dainty teeny-tiny foodstuffs (and felt a little bit like a crazy old cat lady for the experience…miniature doilies, anyone?).

Fun with Fimo

So when Adam implored me to take a jaunt with him to our nearest art supply store and shell out some bucks for Fimo,  I was in…though just for him. I never thought I’d manage to create something worthy of adorning the dollhouse. Fourteen dollars later however, my mind boggled with the endless possibilities: ice cream cones, sushi, meatballs, cookies…oh my!!!!

We nimbly worked it with our fingers, talked about life, love and bullies. We listened to the rain fall and shared jokes. We counseled each other on our creations and championed each other’s good work.

Given that this delightful afternoon occurred during my working hours, and in honour of my value of hard work, I’ve decided to apply what I learned about the afternoon to my business…and my life. And what did I learn? A lot.

• Be open to new endeavours…whatever it may be.
• Want more play in your life? Listen to children…they know how it’s done.
• Letting go of preconceived notions about how something should be done can give you lots of room for expansiveness. And a quieter mind. Very good for your innate creativity in all you do.
• Taking time away from business is a good thing…besides, as the one and only Danielle LaPorte tells it, you’re not that important
• Paying attention to details can make the difference between something being unpalatable or sumptuous. A little more effort can be rewarding…even if it feels fussy and awkward.
• The only person that expects me to be perfect is me. AND, given that I’m imperfect, what the hell do I know about perfection anyways!
• There is certain deliciousness in variety. And FURTHER to this, stay tuned for an event that I’m co-hosting with my dear colleague Lisa Chandler. It’s all about sampling a delectable variety of coaching styles…in 15 minute increments. You’ll be AMAZED how a good coach can help you cut to the meat of an issue in less time than that.

I’ll not be doing this for a living any time soon, but was pretty pleased how my little smackerels turned out….fingerprint imprints and all.

So, I ask you to try something new, fearlessly and with no attachment to the outcome. You may surprise yourself…and even clear your mind while you’re at it. And if you don’t know what that could be, ask a kid. They’ll let you know how fun’s done.

Last night we spent a perfectly lovely evening at the Beaches International Jazz Festival. The weather was ideal, the crowd was energetic and appreciative and the music somehow seemed better than we’ve enjoyed in previous years (in my humble opinion). Some nights are just like that.

One of the many musical highlights for us was seeing The Disease…a young “7-piece funk machine” from Toronto. They were (in the words of my drumming husband) “tight”. I don’t know much about that, but I do like to think I know talent. And they really had it going on. While they didn’t pull the same size crowd as other bands doing jazz standards, the crowd that they did have appreciated the talent too.

Ok, so you don’t visit my blog for musical critiques. Here’s what I really loved and appreciated about this group—they “felt it”. Every last member. I was particularly mesmerized by the guy on the keys – David Atkinson. He would not, COULD not stop dancing. He played on his tippy-toes for goodness’ sake! He couldn’t contain his jubilation…his sheer joy of doing what he loved doing. It was infectious and to me it epitomized that quote that we’ve all been e-mailed ad nauseum: dance like no one’s watching.

Now I know what that means…really means. Had that wildly talented young man put a cap on his groove, the notes would have been flatter, to be sure, but more criminally, we the audience would have been cheated out of a display of unbridled excitement, energy and joy. Which I know I really inspired me.

Kids do it. They run, jump, play, sing, dance and twirl with no concern about appearances (at least until pre-puberty, and then, I’m told, it’s hell in a handbasket). Why does watching kids sing the national anthem off-key bring tears to my eyes? Because it is sung with heart, intention and purity of soul.

It’s not too late for us as adults to do the same.

So, I challenge you: give like no one’s watching; worship like no one’s watching, play like no one’s watching; love like no one’s watching; cry like no one’s watching and laugh like no one’s watching. Go on and even let the milk pour out of your nose. Those that are watching will celebrate the moment right alongside you.

Thanks David, for the reminder.

Years ago, while on maternity leave, I read in a parenting journal about the mompreneur phenom, Jennifer Torres, Founder of Salsa Babies.

Jennifer and her inspirations

Back then, I was a budding entrepreneur myself (cf: my fleeting attempt at product development). I recall reading that this powerhouse of a woman started her company with the purpose of staying home with her kids after her maternity benefits had ended and that her intention was to generate the same revenue that she was receiving from EI. No more, but certainly, no less.

I too, wanted to stay home with my daughter and also develop a business. When I read those simple parameters, it seemed viable and …inspirationally… attainable. I felt moved to set the same goal for myself.

Our paths have crossed a couple of times over the past year, and I’ve always wanted to hear more about her. Yesterday, we shared an hour of great conversation about business, balance, goals, dreams, and why folding underwear is a time suck. She is every bit as vibrant, dynamic, energetic and warm as you’ve imagined. And she has it together.

I was hooked the moment she uttered her opening remark:

I’ve learned to follow what interests you and what you’ve loved doing throughout your life.

Bingo.

Her story

Jennifer always knew that when kids came along, she’d want to stay at home with them. So, when she was pregnant, she took ESL certification in the hopes of finding a job flexible enough to be home with the babes. Nothing came up. While on mat leave, she asked her employers if she could work part-time when she came back…and they said no. She was miserable and felt pretty desperate at the notion of leaving her babies in childcare to go back to job that wasn’t overly fulfilling. It just didn’t seem right. (And as I’ve often written…if it doesn’t feel right for you, it probably isn’t right for you. But I didactically digress.)

One fine day a friend handed her a tissue and pointed out that she could maybe integrate her well-known love for salsa dancing into a business. Jennifer was resistant at first…after all…salsa’s about heels and less about babies. Or was it?

The Birth of Salsa Babies

The idea percolated in her head for a while…and when she found herself dancing around her house to soothe her colicky baby in the carrier, the idea really started to heat up in the most picante way. What happened to turn the idea around from a ho-hum one to being her life’s passion? In a word: RESONANCE.

Before long, her network of support rallied around her and helped her get her idea off the ground. A logo was created; a plan developed; flyers distributed; a web site launched; and, since then, thousands of new moms have shimmied their way to slimmer waists and happy babies. Thanks to Jennifer’s vision.

In some ways, Jennifer’s story is a study of what is possible is you simply believe in yourself. Is there any way she could have known that 8 years after the ESL thing didn’t pan out that she’d be co-writing children’s CDs, writing books and having appeared on TV more times than she can count? As she pointed out in our discussion:

My goal was not to be a million dollar industry…but now as I look back, I could have thought bigger. I just didn’t want to be too cocky.

Familiar, huh?

S-U-C-C-E-S-S

What excites me is the fact that she THOUGHT she was thinking small, but in fact, was setting herself up for success. A business idea aligned with her values, interests, strengths and abilities? A network of support and boundless energy and acumen? That to me is a fool-proof recipe for success.

Is she successful?

Well that depends on your definition, of course, but beyond the professional accomplishments noted above, Jennifer points to two things that she’s most proud of:

1. The fact that she has built a business that enables (at last count) 30 licensees to be doing what they love (teaching salsa) while being with their kids. This wasn’t a goal per se, but what an amazing by-product!
2. Her girls are looking up to her in a new way. Jennifer points out that in her lottery win dreams she always saw herself at home with them and acknowledges that this may well be the right path for many…but now sees how flat that could have been for HER. Her girls see her on TV and know that she’s doing what she loves and is happy. By example, her girls are learning the value of developing something for yourself:

My 8-year old daughter started a book club and was so organized about it all. She wrote up a proposal, did up a flyer, planned the space, talked to the principal and handled all of these other details. My husband looked at me during the flurry of activity and said: ‘that’s you!’

Like all success stories, there have been some bumps in the road. She has been targeted for her great ideas and has had them ripped off (in one case, a copy cat took words verbatim from her web site). And there’s no question…like most business-parents, Jennifer knows too well the constant struggle of maintaining that elusive “balance”. “How much TV is too much for the kids? What am I missing if I don’t spend the day with the kids? What could I have gotten done if I had worked today?”

At her annual licensees’ meeting, she delivers a segment about finding balance in being a business owner. Some good rules of thumb?

• Try not to check emails on the weekend
• Hold weekends with family sacred
• If it doesn’t affect the bottom line, don’t bother (case in point…does underwear really need to be folded? She thinks not)

What’s next for Jennifer and Salsa Babies?

She has some pretty exciting plans for the company….market expansion, program development and some new offerings and packages. You’ll just need to stay tuned. Trust me…you’ll be hearing lots more from this beautiful woman who just bubbles exuberance and energy.

A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to attend the launch of SoloMag, the brainchild of Jacqueline Parker. More on that cool woman in a later blog posting.

I am drawn to people who glow. Call it the law of attraction, call it what you will. As such, I was drawn to Monica Graves.

Monica Graves

She is radiant as a baseline…but when she talks about her business, she pretty much hums. Why? Quite simply, she loves what she does. And she’s very good at it. Her company is glamjulz and she sells her stunning creations in over 100 stores across Canada.

Her Story

She started her first business at 16 painting t-shirts then moved on to painting murals but realized somewhere along the lines that these weren’t particularly lucrative. To supplement the income of her artistic pursuits, she took up some babysitting gigs. Believe it or not, that lead to an offer of work at Canada Post (time and time again…it’s who you know!). It wasn’t where she was planning on going in her career, but it certainly served a purpose. On the one hand, she recognized that she was denying her creative side, but on the other, the steady income was a toasty security blanket.

Along the way, she was offered a sales position with the organization and they encouraged her to go to business school.

Canada Post taught me about another side of myself…I already knew my artistic side pretty well. Art comes from within me and the more comfortable you are with something the easier it is to create. So for me, it’s pretty easy. Business lives on the other side of the brain and I found it was a new world of learnings.

I’m so happy that I was able to go to business school, thanks to Canada Post. If I had have pursued arts school, I’m really not sure where I’d be now.

Instead of letting the creative part of her lay dormant, she picked up the beading tools that she bought on a whim with a friend and started creating what she loved. Turns out, what she loved was what people wanted.

Before long, she had a sales person taking her creations to market and her husband was running glamjulz full-time. The pace of full days at Canada Post until 6pm and then creating stunning baubles until midnight started to take its toll on her well being.

Monica needed to take a step back and evaluate…and like all forks in the road, it was hard. On the one hand, she told herself that if she took the plunge full-time into glamjulz, she may well become the huge success that everyone around her told her she would be. On the other hand, who says no to Canada Post?

The Shift

Three years ago, pretty much out of the blue, Monica was offered a package. Even though on some level she believes she manifested the situation, she still felt the three “s’s” pretty acutely: surprised, shocked and scared. She was faced with the choice: “should I stay or should I go?” This is not a fun choice to make. Canada Post had been a grounding force in her life…and now it was slipping away.

After the offer was made, she spent some time comparing herself to those around her. Then, after some values assessment and soul-searching, she saw the situation for what it was…an opportunity. With the support of friends, family and a much bigger vision of where she wanted to go, she was able to see what was now available to her. She took the package and immersed herself fully into developing glamjulz into the going concern it is today. Her creations adorn the necks, wrists and earlobes of the likes of Fergie, Paris Hilton, Elisha Cuthbert…and after pilfering my jewellery box, my daughter too. Monica has a robust bridal consulting business and her work has been featured on shows like “Rich Bride, Poor Bride”.

I now have power and am doing what’s right for me.

Could this have all come together without the Canada Post package offered to her? Monica knows that she would have made the shift eventually. She would have found some way to make it work. Because, underneath it all, she gets the value of knowing her values. Her advice to others thinking about making the leap into a new business venture?

Know your values and rate them in priority. When things are thrown at you, you’ll know how to handle it. You also need to really believe in yourself. It’s how energy works…write your business plan like the success is already happening.

And for those people who want to make a shift but simply don’t know what that shift could be?

Go back to your childhood; tap into what excited you as a kid. Notice what it was that set you apart from everyone else. It’s knowing our differences that helps us to see who we are. Something in there is magical.

And in Monica Graves’ case, not just magical, but shiny and beautiful too.

Listen to the MUSTN’Ts, child
Listen to the DON’TS
Listen to the SHOULDN’TS,
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON’TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES, then listen close to me…
Anything can happen, child
ANYTHING can be.
– Shel Silverstein (more…)