"Powerful, authentic & insightful! Tanya just gets "it" and knows exactly how to ask the right questions & provide the guidance to help you create that breakthrough in your life!" — Katia Millar

"Tanya helped me get clear on what it is I wanted for my life. She asks firm, accountable questions in a gentle, compassionate way. It helped me recognize what I like about my current professional situation and what I want to change." — Jennifer Saunders

"I would not be where I am today without her and I am extremely grateful. Her process works and I recommend her to everyone." — Jennifer Torres, Founder

Thing Finding Thursday with Tara Sophia Mohr

Remember that beach vacation when you were a kid and your older sibling was off chasing boys (or girls) and you were on your own? And your parents, who were more interested in their sangria than managing your social life, distractedly waved you off to “go make a friend” and it seemed impossible in that moment until you saw HER and went over and said: “let’s be friends” and she said yes?

For me, that was Tara Sophia Mohr. We’ve been hanging out on the same beach for a while now and I’ve always been curious about her and her sandcastles (they always seem SO WELL put together). And do you recall the 2012 planning post wherein I declared my search for a publicist and I committed to “Ask my coaching colleagues/peers who they work with (by Dec 31, 2011)”?

That’s what I did. I asked the girl with the well constructed (and beautiful) sandcastle for a Skype chat and she said yes.

I knew she was wise. I knew she was wonderful. What I wasn’t prepared for was how WARM she is. (Frequent and regular Skype tea dates are in the works.)

If you don’t know her, here’s what she’s up to in this world. She’s an expert on women’s leadership and women’s wellbeing. She has created the wildly popular “10 Rules for Brilliant Women” and the 6-month Playing Big women’s leadership program (full disclosure: that there is an affiliate link), Tara’s work has been featured on The Today Show, ForbesWoman, USA Today, More Magazine and is regularly published in Huffington Post. She received her undergraduate degree from Yale University and her MBA from Stanford University. Tara is also the author of Your Other Names: Poems for Wise Living.

Cerebral and soulful stuff. Interested in hearing about her path? Me too.

What’s your thing?

Tara Sophia Mohr:  My thing is being Tara. These days (these years, really,) that generally looks like this:

  • bringing women’s voices into the world
  • helping women play bigger
  • speaking-writing-communicating to bring about the world I want to see. every day there is something new to say. I love saying it.
  • letting poems come through.
  • creating beauty. basking in beauty.
  • laughing in community, being with friends, being over the moon happy that you (and you, and you and you) exist and are right here, with me!
  • being silly and dancing around the apartment cracking up my husband.
  • compassion, compassion, compassion, because compassion is the natural expression of wisdom, the fruit of seeing things as they really are.

Note on the above: nothing in my life is linear. So please picture these words in a big swirling circle, not in a list.

Was finding your thing the result of a divine revelation, an insane invention, a culmination of insights…or something else?

Tara Sophia Mohr: It was a return. It was a return to my childhood dreams. I’m not someone who was fundamentally confused about what my thing was, though I spent many years saying “I don’t know what my thing is.” Translation: “My thing might be that thing I’ve been dreaming of since I was five, but frankly that thing seems too impractical and scary to go for, so I’ll ignore that and take some career assessment tests instead.”

I don’t think we all “find” our things. I did some combination of remember, recover, listen and experiment my way into my thing.

There was a time in my life about four years ago when I made a pretty radical shift toward living a more authentic life and career. I don’t know what caused that to happen on one day and not another, but the change felt precipitated by intensifying pain: the pain of the inauthentic way of living grew great enough that I was willing to face the discomfort involved in change.

When the old shoe really, really, really gets uncomfortable? That’s when I often start to make change. But what causes the shoe to get uncomfortable at a certain point? Something mysterious, something that has to do, I believe, with the timeline of our soul’s unfoldment.

Obstacles/fears/doubts – what were they, how’d you vanquish them?

Tara Sophia Mohr:  For me, life has often felt like trying to sew together two pieces of fabric: one piece is my authentic self. The things she loves. Her natural, confident, uninhibited, blissed-out self. Picture a happy five year old, totally unself-conscious, in her element, doing her thing. That’s piece of fabric #1.

The other piece of fabric is the world: the more competitive, judgmental landscape where that natural self was not always welcomed or safe or validated.

How to sew the two together? How to make them connected, so I can move across them easily? How to walk in the world as my authentic self comfortably and confidently – to say what I had to say – no matter how radical or how ridiculed?

That has been my primary challenge. What has helped me has been in part outer: having powerful support people in my life –community, teachers, friends – who gave me tools and championed my dreams when I was just getting started in listening to them and acknowledging them. But inner work has been equally important, particularly work around 1) clarifying my vision 2) understanding what the inner critic is and how it operates and 3) getting wise about how to deal with fear.

The programs I lead are very informed by what has most helped me – and what most helps the other women I work with.

What questions did you ask yourself to trigger your a-ha moments…and what signs and milestones should others be looking for in their journeys?

Tara Sophia Mohr: Some of my favorite questions:

What is my message to share in this situation, my unique truth? (Note: if no one else sees what you are saying or is talking about what you are thinking, that makes your perspective more needed, not less; more valuable not less).

What does my heart need in order to follow itself? (In any situation to ask your heart, “Dear heart: what do you need right now, to follow yourself?”)

How can I be a representative of love in this situation? (This question has saved me a hundred times. Saved me from pettiness, fear-based responses, aggression and brought me right back into love. You be surprised how well it works in business environments too.)

***

I’m appreciating the notion of the two fabrics. I’m appreciating her powerful questions. I’m appreciating the power of support systems. And I’m appreciating the worn shoe metaphor. I’m appreciating it all.

What are you appreciating?

Please share in the comments or let’s talk about this on Facebook OR go ahead and spread her wisdom with your people on Twitter.

Tweetworthy Tara Sophia Mohr-isms (for your sharing pleasure)

  • compassion is the natural expression of wisdom - @tarasophia to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8iXlq #TFThurs
  • Meet challenge with powerful support systems and inner work.- @tarasophia to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8iXlq #TFThurs
  • finding yur thing may be more like remembering, recovering, listening + experimenting your way in. – @tarasophia http://ow.ly/8iXlq #TFThurs
  • In challenge, ask: How can I be a representative of love in this situation? – @tarasophia to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8iXlq #TFThurs 
  • In any situation, ask your heart: What do you need right now, to follow yourself? - @tarasophia to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8iXlq #TFThurs
  • Along yur path, ask: What is my message to share in this sit’n, my unique truth? @tarasophia to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8iXlq #TFThurs

——–

You can find Tara Sophia Mohr at her site; or on Twitter.

 

 

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Thing Finding with Danielle LaPorte of White Hot Truth


You know I love me some Danielle LaPorte. Told you so here, here, here and here. In my mind, she is THE High Priestess of Passion Persuasion and a sublimely generous friend. So when I decided to dive into the realm of Thing Finding, there was zero doubt who I’d be contacting for an interview. This was actually recorded a good while ago, but like all things golden, it has stood the test of time.

Danielle is the author of the Spark Kit (got yours yet?) and most recently co-authored Your Big Beautiful Book Plan with Linda Sivertsen.

When I was asked to review this latest tome of gorgeousness, I said this:

“It’s a rich buffet of ideas, tools and resources, delivered with soulful practicality and sizzling pragmatism.”

I still say that.

In this video, we talk about wooing your thing, how gratitude can be used as key evidence in the process, the killer of thing-finding {spoiler alert: comparison}, and you’ll bear witness to her best impression of a saboteur (not to be missed). She’ll also share with you (drum roll, please) THE FORMULA.

Enjoy.

Interview with Danielle LaPorte for Thing Finding Thursday

How delightful is this woman, I ask you? Time spent in her presence, time spent in her words, is like time spent at an old-school Nordic spa for the mind. Hot submersion then cold plunge, then back to off-the charts heat again. Invigorating and ultimately oh-so restorative. And do you see what I mean about her flagrant generosity? Now please go ahead and spread the love inherent in her wisdom with your peeps, will you?

Tweetworthy Danielle-isms (for your sharing pleasure)

  • Practicality and passion are a wicked combo. – @DanielleLaPorte to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8cIhH #TFThurs 
  • Go on a comparison diet. – @DanielleLaPorte to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8cIhH #TFThurs
  • Take the charge out of finding your genius. Like, what makes you happy? – @DanielleLaPorte to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8cIhH #TFThurs
  • There is nothing original out there. – @DanielleLaPorte to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8cIhH #TFThurs
  • We are not doers, we are deciders (from the Book of Runes) via @DanielleLaporte to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8cIhH #TFThurs
  • I don’t get off on failure. – @DanielleLaPorte to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8cIhH #TFThurs
  • Appreciate what you have. That’s the formula. – @DanielleLaPorte to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8cIhH #TFThurs

Transcript of edited interview (for your reading pleasure)

Tanya: So something that you have written always, always, always piqued my curiosity and got my juices going. The enthusiasm is the genuine yes that will uncork your genius. That’s sublime. I absolutely love that.

Danielle: It’s so juicy. You’re so uncorked anyhow.

Danielle: Well, I think first you need to believe that you have genius. That’s sort of half the journey. I know it’s in there somewhere. I haven’t uncorked it. I haven’t stumbled across it. I’m certainly not making any money off of it yet, but it’s in there somewhere. So just believe that it’s in there somewhere. I’m often telling people that whatever is showing up in your life in the form of gratitude, people being grateful for you and appreciating and thanking you, whatever you’re getting thanks for is an indication of whatever your gift is or your genius.

What are people showing their gratitude for? When do you feel no sense of time? When do you look up from whatever you’re doing, whether it’s baking cookies or writing a blog post or tinkering with something, and five hours have gone by and you don’t remember how you got there? That’s the sign of being in the flow as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi says. Aren’t you impressed that I can say his name?

Tanya: So impressed.

Danielle: So those are some indicators. I think we also need to take the charge out of finding our genius and just start in a gentle way like what makes you happy. Soft and happy. Just start there.

Tanya: I think that that sometimes scares that away, you know, this whole energy of like bigness, bigness, bigness. So I think that that’s possible that there is a bit of a story. What if it’s more just kind of a whisper? Do you know?

Danielle: Yes. And it can be more than a whisper. It can still feel hot, electric and juicy, but it doesn’t mean you need to go make money on it necessarily. It would be great. I mean, I’m aiming for the ideal that that’s what you can do. It doesn’t mean you need to launch it or go back to school. So I think if we just take the expectations off of finding out what it is it will help us get there sooner. It’s like falling in love, right? Are you the guy? Or it’s like the old Dr. Seuss story, “Dr. Seuss, are you my mother?” He doesn’t find his mother until he’s just hanging out. Do you know?

Tanya: Yeah.

Danielle: Yeah. You let it go and then, poop, it will pop up.

Tanya: What are things that people are coming up against as they try to woo their thing?

Danielle: As they try to woo their thing? That’s such a great – Oh, comparison. It’s toxic. It’s a killer. Don’t do it. It goes like this. What I want to say has already been said. Her brand is like my brand. She got there, he got there to market before I did. Who am I to do this? I’m not qualified. They have more qualifications. They, they, they, they, they. Guess what? You’re an original just because it’s all coming through your lens, your perspective, your voice, your experience, your drive, your level of interest. So nobody has said what you’re going to say. By the way, there is nothing original out there. It’s been said. What I’m saying, what I say on WhiteHotTruth.com it’s perennial stuff. You can find lots of teachers that talk about it. But nobody talks about it in the way I do. So comparison sucks. Just stop and knock it off. Just go on a comparison diet.

Fears in wooing stuff. Well, there is the what if I fail? Just make a decision and do it. Just decide. Just do. There is a great saying from the book of the Runes, “We are not doers, we are deciders, and once we decide the doing becomes easy.” So doing something and making a mistake is superior, underlined, italicized, to not doing anything. Now that doesn’t mean you don’t have to wait some things out and everything, especially business, so much to do with timing. But you do something and you fail, you will still be further ahead. Even if you’re in the hole financially, you will still be further ahead.

You will have more courage. You will have more faith. You will have more acumen. You will have more contacts at the bank. You will have more resources for your next thing. Just do something. Find out. And in that regard, quit soon and fail fast. If it sucks, leave it. Of course, there is time. I mean, everything I talk about is contradiction. So let’s get that on the table.

Tanya: Love it.

Danielle: Of course there are times where you persist and you endure and all that stuff. But if it’s not working, can it and leave it. Seth Godin in his book, The Dip, about this, “Winners quit sooner.”

Danielle: I also have a contradiction to that.

Tanya: Bring it.

Danielle: Fail fucking sucks. I want to be clear that my focus here is about executing. It’s about creating. It’s about doing so you can go on. Failure is often part of it, but it’s not – Some entrepreneurs get off on their failures. I don’t get off on failure. I have learned a lot more from my successes than I have from my failures for sure.

Danielle: Do I have a saboteur? Yes. Yes, I do. I’ve never articulated so we’re having a live moment here. I can tell you my saboteur are all those little – I really dislike them.  I need to be careful here. My saboteur is a 30 something, Adidas wearing, running show wearing, geek, social media addicted guy from Silicon Valley. He is a bit spiritually vacant and highly fucking cynical. That personality, that kind of avatar is my saboteur. So sometimes I think I’m being too spiritual or I’m not being grounded or, yeah, too out there, too Abraham Hicks. Is that guy behind me going, “this doesn’t work in the real world?” Do you know what I say to him? I say, “You haven’t been properly hugged in months, mister. You probably have sex like a robot.” And you know know what I got is hot. And that’s how I deal with my saboteur. I tell him to go fuck himself.

Tanya: Oh my goodness.

Danielle: Yeah, that crowd scares me definitely. But I’m almost over it.

Tanya: Sorry, I’m not finding – That’s really, really good. I just got to tell you, I wanted to hug him too. I just wanted to hug him too like he needs to be properly hugged like heart to heart, man.

Danielle: Saboteurs they really need love. They’re just coming to the table. Love me.

Tanya: Do you have any final desire for our viewers, people who are picking up what’s my thing? What do you want for them, Danielle?

Danielle: Don’t quit your day job. It is your birthright to have your thing. Be practical about your passion. Practicality and passion are a wicked combo. It’s perfectly alright to want to be happy the majority of the time and it can be done.

Tanya: Yeah.

Danielle: Appreciate what you have. That’s the formula. You want to find your thing. You want to move ahead. You want velocity. You need to appreciate everything that’s going on in your life right now. You need to appreciate that you have a bitchy boss. You need to appreciate the money that you are making. You need to appreciate that you’re stuck. You need to see the beauty in the people that you’re working with.

You need to realize, and if you’re watching this, you probably live in the western world. The fact that you’re watching this on the computer means you have the democratic choice to do that and the financial means to do that. So I’ll leave it on this note. Whatever you got going you got it good. Be grateful for it. When you appreciate that, you will attract more into your life to be appreciative for. It just gets better.

_______________

If you haven’t already, you can find Danielle at White Hot Truth and on Twitter.

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Thing Finding Thursday with Megan Potter


Today’s Thing Finding Thursday features a guest post by Megan Potter.

Megan is an an Archetypal Counselor & Chinese Face Reader. Yup, thought you might be curious about that. Read on to find out how she woke up (consistently at 1:00 am) to THAT.

 

—————————-

 

Fireworks, Epiphanies, and Gestating Things that all Come Into Being in their Own Time but are Really In There All Along.

I have the freaking coolest job in the world, seriously.  I double dog dare you to find a job as cool as mine.

When I show off for fun (cause if you had my job you’d totally show off for fun too) I literally get to watch people’s jaws drop; they tell me I’m crazy – unbelievable, or they sit speechless with eyes wide.  In fact, their reactions are so much fun that my husband likes to use me as entertainment at boring parties and in large groups.

My totally, way cool, job is to read people’s faces.  Not their expressions, not their feelings, but their noses and eyebrows and foreheads and cheeks.  (For example, I can tell you that with cheeks like that Tanya is a Woman of Authority who can handle being the boss, but also demands a certain pride in everything she does.) [ed. note: oooooh, she's gooood]

My work is centered around Chinese Face Reading, but that’s not my Thing.  It’s just one vehicle that lets me express my thing.

Rewind to two, three, years ago.

It’s approximately 1:00 am, and I’m curled up on the couch with a book and pen.  Everyone has gone to their respective beds and I’m soaking up the dark stillness, allowing myself to be swept up in this treasure I recently found, my first book on Chinese Face Reading.  I’m not even at the face reading part, I’m still only in the front matter: the stuff on why the author (who would later become my teacher) thinks This Work matters.

Every now and then I need to set this book down.  I need to tug it away from my body so that the electric shock it is radiating though me can release enough to let me catch my breath.

She is talking about the importance of knowing ourselves, about her work of being a mirror for others so they can rediscover – have affirmed – that Self for themselves.

And fireworks are going off inside of me.  I can’t sit still.  I have to stand up, then sit down again, to keep reading.

How could I have missed that?  Of course that’s my thing.  I’ve known it all along, I just never knew it before.

My work is Chinese Face Reading, but my Thing is seeing people’s souls and empowering them to live from their selves.  It always has been, even when I had no bloody idea what I was going to do with myself.

Rewind to Six years before that.

It’s approximately 1:00 am; everyone’s in bed and I’m sitting in front of my computer chatting it up on my favorite forum.  The flicker of the computer screen is the only light in the house, the clack of my keyboard seems to echo deathly loud.

A friend posts: “I’m having a coaching session tomorrow, wish me luck.”

What’s a coaching session?

I click the link she, so kindly, provides.

A new world opens in front of me as I read a blurb: What is Coaching?

I could feel it, energy moving up my body, my stomach flips, my heart pounds to the rhythm, “This is me.  This is me.  This is me.”  I could feel it throbbing through me.

It’s me, it’s who I’ve always been, what I’d always been doing – even when I had no freaking clue what I could do with my life.

Fireworks I can’t contain push me to my groggy (formerly asleep) husband’s bedside, “Oh my God Jeff, you have to listen to this!”

Fast Forward 3 or 6 years from now

It’s approximately 1:00 am and I’m up reading, or surfing, or chatting – when I should clearly be in bed.  But the dark, quiet, aloneness brings me to a place of internal stillness nothing else does.

I’ve found a new idea, a fascinating article, amazing person and one more thing is expanding within me.  I can feel it, the energy rush that confirms this is exactly the thing I needed to find at this exact moment.  There are fireworks and excitement, and something clicks into place for me.

As a result my work – my job – will grow, expand, or maybe shrink – or even leap, take an entirely new shift.  But when it happens, I’ll stand there open mouthed (like so many of my Face Reading clients), and say: This is me.  As soon as I see it I’ll know it’s true, has always been true, even when there was no way I could possibly define it before.

I’m not the least bit worried about it though, because I know whatever happens at that 1:00 am epiphany I’ll still be looking into soul’s, I’ll still be empowering and affirming and reflecting back every gorgeous Self that plants itself in front of me.

Because that’s my Thing, and my Thing is ME.

Which is why I’m constantly walking through life with eyes raised, arms open, and heart singing just waiting for Fireworks and Epiphanies knowing they’ll only take me closer to who I already am.

———

You can find Megan Potter at her  blog, on facebook or on Twitter.  She does one-on-one Face Reading sessions, teaches the Five Elements, and offers Elemental self-care retreats.

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Thing Finding Thursday with Jasmine Lamb of All is Listening

I missed you last week, Dear Reader. iMovie and I were having a lovers’ quarrel and it was trying to keep us apart. We’re on speaking terms again and I am thrilled to share with you the interview I did with Jasmine Lamb.

As a coach, one of my skills is the capacity to listen to my clients at different levels.  I listen for what they say, and to what they DON’T say. I listen to the pauses in speech, to the speed of the words and from whence said words come (diaphragm, throat, nose…it all indicates something different). So, yeah. I’m pretty skillish. And yet, YET, this woman has brought me to my knees. She is a LISTENER. A masterful listener who energetically reminded me to sloooowwww waayyyy, WAAAAYYY down.

Jasmine works one-on-one with people through her Healing Heart Sessions. She writes the blog All is Listening: Tools and Tales for Breaking Up, Waking Up, and Falling in Love. She is author of the forthcoming digital book, A Call to Listen: How to Start an Inner Revolution.

She has plenty of thoughts for you Thing-seekers and non-seekers. {Hint: it has everything to do with listening.} 

So please, get your cup of tea, settle into your comfiest chair,  and give this a good listen. Then turn everything off and take the time and make the space to listen to your own self.

Interview with Jasmine Lamb for Thing Finding Thursday

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Ooooh yes. Stop and listen. What is your life, right now, trying to tell you?

(let’s talk about this - really chew it over – on Facebook)

You can find Jasmine at her blog, All is Listening and on Twitter.

——-

Edited Transcript of Interview with Jasmine Lamb For Thing Finding Thursday

Jasmine: My thing is listening.  And when I say listening what I am talking about is listening first to my experience in this moment and to what is arising for me right here.  And extending out from there is listening to the environment, to the actual sounds, and then also having from this place of presence, listening to others.

Tanya: I suspect it’s always been with you but it hasn’t been articulated as such.

Jasmine:  That’s right.  It always has been with me and I’ve always almost known it, but haven’t quite and I’ve been confused about it.  Because what was reflected back to me when I was younger, both as a child and a teenager and then in my career in my twenties, was my skill in relating to people and in listening to people and my skill in taking care of people.  And I have really powerful skills in this area and I got enormous amounts of positive feedback from it.  And at that stage in my life I was confused into thinking that the thing that I got lots of positive feedback about and the place where I got all the compliments and the place where people gave me attention, that that was my thing;

Jasmine: I was a fixer and a problem solver and a hand holder and a “let’s navigate this divorce successfully” person.

And that’s all a part of me.  It still is; I have those skills.  I want to use those skills.  But, it wasn’t entirely feeding my soul.

Tanya:  So there was a point at which you went from this listener in this capacity to another kind of listener.  The listener that is very informed by your center – so what was that shift?

Jasmine:  It was a culmination of catastrophes.  I woke up one day five years ago, ready to go to work. I felt a pain in my side and it brought me to the ground.  And as I descended, my back seized up.  And I just couldn’t move.

And what first was my back being seized up transitioned to something where the bottom fell out of all my senses.  I couldn’t tolerate sound; I couldn’t tolerate fast movement or even slow movement.

Jasmine: What I could be with was the very quietest, most still part of the center of me.  That was where I could be.  And I had touched that place in my life, but I had never really rested there. It gave me this incredible opportunity to rest within myself and to listen there.  And really to listen in the moment there . When we are really listening, we are open to what we don’t know.

Tanya: I’m sensitive to that person who’s listening and saying, “Okay, but I haven’t known what my thing is for my whole life and now I’m open to being open to it and I want to find my damned thing.”  I feel that there’s that sense of urgency, so I think that you have a lot to offer in this realm of confusion and bless you and I hope that comes across with the respect that I mean for it to.  But I know that you have a belief that confusion, that feeling lost is actually a really powerful place so will you say more about that?

Jasmine: When we are lost it doesn’t feel powerful; it feels often miserable.  Particularly when we are trying to get out of feeling lost.  When I have been able to accept my lost-ness, and often it comes because I just am so fed up and so exhausted and so at my wit’s end that I just say, “Okay, I am lost.  I don’t know what I need.  I don’t know what is next and I don’t know what my thing is.”  And then, I can feel it right now, I just took this big breath.  My body, my being, sighs a sigh of relief that is like, “Great.  You are accepting where you actually are.”

And from that place, knowing really does come.

So if I was working with a client around this, you would actually slow way down and I would give them this opportunity to feel the sensations of felt sense.  Their physical sensations that are coming up in this wanting and desire and lost-ness.  And let those unfold and let those unwind.

Tanya: I love this – on your site.  Breaking up, waking up, falling in love and I was wondering if you could play with me and knit that into the context of finding your thing or stitch it in for me.

Jasmine:  But for those people who are seeking their thing, they’re on a journey and what I think is exciting is that your life is going to take you there if you will listen to it.  And if you’re willing to go for the ride, which might mean some breaking up happening and it doesn’t happen consecutively; it all gets mixed up.  You’re going to wake up to what is true for you and it might not be what you expected and it might be scary.

Tanya: What is it that you want for people who are watching this right now who may be looking for their thing or trying to claim their thing or in process or maybe they think they found it but they’re feeling, “Is this it?” What do you want for them?

Jasmine:  I want them to open to the possibility that their thing is inside of them.  And that they can move towards it by trusting themselves and slowing down to include more parts of themselves in the conversation.

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Thing Finding Thursday with Susannah Conway

To me, Susannah Conway is beauty. (And I’m not just talking about those eyebrows). She’s everything that I appreciate: Honest. Smart. Curious. Forthright. Raw. Elegant. No bullshit. Quirky. Transparent. Brilliant.

Yes. To me, she is beauty.

So it’s no surprise that her work is also about beauty. Capturing and curating as a photographer, writer and the creator of the wildly popular Unravelling e-courses. A Polaroid addict and very proud aunt (love!), her first book, This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart (Globe Pequot Press), launches in June 2012. Registration for her next Unravelling: Ways of Seeing My Self class opens this Saturday, December 3rd.

 

…curious as to how she found her way? Me too.

What’s your thing?

Susannah Conway: I help women reconnect to their true selves using photography as the key the open the door. I do this by leading online classes in photography and self awareness, and blogging honestly about the stuff I know to be true. Next year I’ll be spilling my guts in a book, too.

Was finding your thing the result of a divine revelation, an insane invention, a culmination of insights…or something else?

Susannah Conway: I found my thing by experiencing it first and then sharing what I’d discovered with others. In 2005 the man I loved died very suddenly and everything I thought I knew about life changed in that instant. Now I look back and see that my life has unfolded in two acts: in the first 32 years I was lost and disconnected from myself. In the last seven years I’ve healed and become the person I am today.

I found my way back to myself through my cameras and journals. For as long as I can remember writing has been the way I figure stuff out and connect with how I’m feeling. I’ve always kept a journal so it was very natural for me to write my way through my grief. In the second year of my bereavement I discovered blogging and it opened up this whole new creative world to me. Being able to share my thoughts and feelings online was incredibly empowering — it was my way of ‘getting back out there’ from the safety of my living room. I started re-exploring self portraiture, which helped me to see myself again — literally, but also as the woman I was becoming, a woman working her way through loss and finding herself again. There were so many layers to unravel and the healing went far deeper than the bereavement alone.

My Unravelling course began as a local evening class and drew inspiration from my healing journey. I brought my photography and journalling ideas together and shared them with a room full of women. To my surprise the class was a great success! As blogging was such an important part of my life it seemed natural to find a way to share the class online somehow. So in 2009 I did, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Obstacles/fears/doubts – what were they, how’d you vanquish them?

Susannah Conway: 1. Who am I to do this? I can’t say this doubt has been fully vanquished yet. It lingers around me like a bad smell and every time I break through a new boundary it whirls up again and tries to trip me up. All I can do is calm myself down, cross my fingers and keep moving forward. Writing my book brought up a lot of doubt and the anticipation of seeing the finished book out in the world is already starting to fill my stomach with butterflies (actually, no, butterflies sound far too light and pretty — these are more like evil moths) but I will keep going nevertheless.

2. How can I do this? I procrastinated a LOT when creating the online version of Unravelling because I was scared. Scared I’d fail. Scared no one would take a chance on my thing. So I let the technical practical side overwhelm me. I’d do anything other than what needed to be done to build the course. I vanquished that fear by doing it one tiny little step at a time and then setting a public deadline — that was very motivating :)

3. What if it’s no good? The perfectionist’s reason to not start something! This one has been easier to wrangle with every project I complete. I try to trust that what I put out into the world will be exactly what someone out there needs in that moment. This has been my experience on so many occasions I’m starting to believe that when we do the work we feel called to do it will take flight in the way it is supposed too. It might take a lot of guts, and a shedload of patience, but hard work and faith really can get you there.

What questions did you ask yourself to trigger your a-ha moments…and what signs and milestones should others be looking for in their journeys?

Susannah Conway: 

  1. What do I have to offer?
  2. What would I do even if I wasn’t getting paid?
  3. What comes easily to me?

The answers to those three question have shaped my work life and business. I think it’s really important to pay attention to how you already spend your time. For me it was blogging/being online, journalling and taking photographs. Those were the constants in my day and the three skills that helped bring my thing into being.

And be aware of what makes you feel most like YOU, too. Try to be transparent in all you do, and do the work that makes your heart sing the loudest. If you’re truly passionate about what you do you’ll be more willing to devote all your time and energy to making it work — because that’s what any fledging business or project needs. Give it everything you have, and make it the most honest version of you and your beliefs/desires/dreams. For example, I spent a year trying to make my portrait business grow, networking locally and pimping out my talents for jobs and commissions. At the end of the year I was drained and uninspired, and not wanting to put myself out there any more; I’d thought that was the sort of photography work I should be aiming for, but it just left me depleted.

A few months later, when I was asked to create a photography evening class, I suddenly found myself doing work that inspired me SO MUCH it’s lead to the creation of a full-time business. I’m still using my photography skills, just in a more authentic way. Once I was doing something that was more “me”, everything seemed to start working, business-wise. Life-wise, too.

***

So much richness and texture here. Notice the medicine that heals you may be the medicine that heals others. Notice what depletes you (and stop doing it). Notice what you’re being asked to do. Notice the power of public deadlines.

And what I’m really hoping you’re noticing is how people who are really, REALLY happy with their thing have managed to stitch their skills, loves and desires together. Are you seeing that? In spite of fears? In spite of doubts?

So let’s start there: what are THREE things that make you feel most like you?

(let’s talk about this on Facebook)

——–

You can find Susannah Conway at her site; on Twitter; or Facebook. Find her and revel in beauty. And then sign up for her Unravelling: Ways of Seeing My Self class and revel in your own. You just may find your thing there.

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Today’s Thing Finding Thursday is brought to you by the word: Ease

On this path to finding, claiming, or wooing your thing, there can be the propensity to white-knuckle it.

Today, my first request is:

Don’t.

If you’ve been following this series, and listening to the combined wisdom of Pam, Kelly, Chris, Dyana, Jenny, Amy and Mary-Margaret, then you are well your way. If you’re citing your ingredients, noticing what lights you up, recognizing the impact you want to make in the world, engaging in willing (and playful) experimentation, playing at being an investigative reporter, talking to people who know you, then you are well, WELL on your way.

Find peace with not knowing (or holding) the answers. Yet.

Celebrate what you do KNOW. What you DO have. Give thanks.

rest.

relax.

don’t sweat it.

it will come.

eat.

drink.

be merry.

If you’re NOT celebrating Thanksgiving, my request is the same:

rest.

relax.

don’t sweat it.

it will come.

eat.

drink.

be merry.

I want you to believe that you know the difference between right and right now.Dyana Valentine

Be kind to yourself and have it be easy. You’re getting there. Promise.

Love,
Tanya

 

 

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Thing Finding Thursday with Pam Slim of Escape from Cubicle Nation

Pam Slim. I adore Pam Slim – author of breakout book, Escape from Cubicle Nation (her blog with the same name is “one of the top career and marketing blogs on the web“); writer; coach; and former corporate manager who helps frustrated employees in corporate jobs break out and start their own business - and after this interview, I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t.

It’s soooooo good. It’s about finding the themes in your life, your body of work – which may encompass several ‘things’ – and about how to STOP DRIVING YOURSELF CRAZY trying to identify your one thing…

…and instead use your interests and ‘list of personal ingredients’ to start making a difference in the world.

Go ahead, make an impact. Pam Slim is about to tell you how.

And how she put it was so incredible that although the video is just a snippet from our interview, I’ve attached the PDF. It’s epic in scope…and in length. (13 pages!). You might need it for reference – seriously! – so here it is (Pamela_Slim_on_Finding Your Thing).

Interview with Pam Slim for Thing Finding Thursday

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Genius. Let’s start with where Pam Slim left us: what impact do YOU want to make on the world? And what list of ingredients can you contribute to this delicious world-changing stew?

(let’s talk about this - really chew it over – on Facebook)

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You can find Pam Slim at her blog, Escape from Cubicle Nation and on Twitter.

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pssst: if you’d like to share your story (or question!) with Thing Finding Thursday, please e-mail me atwhatsmything@tanyageisler.com.


Edited Transcript of Interview with Pam Slim For Thing Finding Thursday

Tanya Geisler: So, you know what we’re here to talk about. We’re here to talk about people finding their thing. So you want to tell us a little about your thing?

Pam Slim: I do. I have actually a lot of things to say about my thing because what I do is work with people generally who are wanting to start a business, so to make part of their thing the way in which they make money be in some way related to starting a business as opposed to a career.

And that path has come from a long time of working on the human side of business, first inside companies working within training and development and helping people to grow and develop within companies and then as an outside consultant where I worked in a whole bunch of companies to work with people to try to improve them from the inside. And then in the last six years I’ve escaped cubicle nation of working with corporate employees that want to leave and start a business.

So what’s interesting is although I have many, many conversations with people about what their thing is, I actually fundamentally don’t believe there is one thing for most people, which we can definitely get into.

I think that can be something that slips a lot of people up because they think the sky is going to open up and the answer is going to come and they’re going to know their thing and they’re going to tiptoe down through the pile of tulips for the rest of their life.

And it actually in my experience rarely happens like that.

Tanya: So how does it usually happen?

Pam: The broader context and the way I’m thinking about it lately is it’s related to your body of work.

So, your body of work is a way of thinking about everything that you do in the world, how you interact with people, the kinds of things you might physically produce, anything from needlepoint to a book to a whole generation of really fantastic entrepreneurs. (You know, if you’re somebody like a coach.)

And so your body of work doesn’t necessarily have to be around one particular thing.

If you think about your life’s work as including this huge body of work that can have some disparate pieces to it, it might reduce some anxiety for thinking that there has to just be this one thing.

SO what if you don’t yet have a huge body of work to analyze?

Pam: just start to list ingredients. I call it listing your own personal ingredients. So you can say, “You know what? I have a little bit of coach in me and I really love music and I think music is a very powerful thing. And I’m totally fascinated by Apple products. And I really love Thailand.” Just begin to list all of the different ingredients that can just have you become aware of yourself and what your interests are.

And also include things like you talked about,

  • What are your personal values?
  • What are lines that you know you will never cross when it comes to ethics or personal values?
  • What are your strengths?
  • What are strengths that you have that you’ve noticed all the way through school?
  • Are you really analytical or are you great at presentations…?

So when you have your list of ingredients, what I tell my clients is just become ingredients in search of a recipe.

Once again, you can eat many different plates throughout the course of your life, so at a certain stage the recipe is found in problems in the world that are meant to be solved.

So to use a personal example, that’s part of what I saw when I did my own assessment of ingredients. I love to work with people, I love to coach, I’m fascinated by the start-up experience, I love business, I love marketing and growing businesses, there are a huge amount of people who are very highly qualified and competent who are coaching people how to do that. There are a ton of books written about it. But the gap that I’ve found is there were few people who were addressing the specific issue for corporate employees who wanted to leave their jobs and start a business and all of the issues that were associated with that.

So they would read all the books that just talked about, “Here are the ten steps to open for business.” These books would leave out things like how do you go through a massive identity shift? How do you tell your parents that you’re going to leave your job that they had worked so hard and spent all their money to send you through college to be a doctor or to be a lawyer and here you want to go open a cookie business or something, you know? How do you have those conversations, how do you deal with fear?

That, for me, was an example of taking my ingredients and finding a particular place in the market that had a need for the specific kind of thing that I wanted to develop. And so that has been my thing for the last six years.

Tanya: that piece where you recognize the opportunity or the transition, were those from personal experiences that you had where you were moving from this realm to that realm and sort of felt some of those pains yourself?

Pam: But for whatever reason, in my own life it’s always been pretty clear. And the way it generally appears is I’ll find the vein of what it is I want to be doing, and I might be in it and kind of put out that though like, “What is that next thing? What’s the next thing I want to do?” And things generally open up.

Now, that said, and the reason I say that is exactly for the reason that you and I have talked about before. It’s so annoying, it’s like somebody who if you struggle with that issue and it isn’t easy and it doesn’t come and there’s somebody like me. Like, “Just set the intention to the universe, man. It’ll come.” That is not helpful. And so that’s where I’ve learned working with different people that there are particular tools to use, you know?

But that said, I remember when I was getting ready for that transition between the corporate consulting, which I did for about nine years and escaped from cubicle nation. I was definitely in that whole stew of trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to do and I took a class with a woman named Suzanne Falter-Barns that was about developing an online presence. I had been trained as a life coach with Martha Beck and I loved her methodology, but I wasn’t totally vibing with just doing life coaching.

Tanya: Yeah.

Pam: Because I had this whole side that I really love business. And I spent a few months of really deep introspection of thinking about my market and sharing ideas and kind of moving things around and really putting myself intensely into figuring out what might that recipe be. And that’s when I eventually hit on “Escape from Cubicle Nation”, and it was something that evolved. I really didn’t, I had no idea it would turn into a book, I didn’t know it would be kind of a thing. But that’s an example of where many people I think don’t have appreciation for how long it takes sometimes to be stewing on ideas. So in one hand it’s totally okay if you’re stewing on ideas and you’re asking yourself questions, like I’m sure you’re going to be helping people with in the overall program and process…What are great questions to ask and how can you start to track things?

Tanya: Yeah. I think that that’s where the theme piece comes in as sort of a bit of saving grace. And you know, I think the comparison piece – it’s like that person, “I can do that, I can do that, and I can do that.” And I think that that piece there, we’re losing sight of the ingredients that we have. So when we look at what everybody else has around us they might have a little more cayenne than we have cumin or whatever that is.

Pam: Exactly.

Tanya: And so we just kind of can’t force that to happen.

What do you really want for somebody who’s watching this – knowing that the people who are watching this might be seekers, might be multi potential-ites, might be on the cusp of or feeling more lost than ever or whatever it is – what is it that you want them to take away from this?

What do you really want for them?

Pam: What I want is to reframe things in terms of instead of thinking about one thing that you have to figure out in order to be happy, just shift the focus to think about what is the kind of impact that you would love to make in the world.

But the other thing could be what is some bit of a problem or something that you just really want to address.

And it goes directly to what you talked about; Martha Beck calls it ‘compare and despair’. Where you’re like, “Oh man, this is really my thing but look at this person! They’re cuter than me and they’ve done it for five years and oh my God they went to Harvard.” And you tell yourself all these stories.

For the most part, when you look at what impact needs to happen – especially around really large issues like helping people in their careers or solving hunger or inequity in the world – there is so much more need than the people who are actually serving that need.

Focus on where you can make an impact based on who it is that you are.

But really what’s important in the long term is the kind of impact and footprint that you’re going to leave on the earth…and if you’re spending all of your time in agony, beating yourself up because you don’t know the thing, then you’re missing this opportunity to be engaging in a bunch of really wonderful activities that are going to help make a difference in the world for things that you care about.

And that is often the really fertile ground for where it is that you end up finding out areas of deep passion is by doing things, not by stepping back in analyses

However, acting in the world and making impact is I think the way that you’re going to start to get better answers to the question.

——–

PS – Love that Max Mendoza fellow. Here’s why:

You can find Max on Twitter. 

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Thing Finding Thursday with Amy Kessel

When Amy Kessel reached out to me to do this interview, I was immediately smitten. I’ve known her “in this space” as a life coach (and transformational muse) whose work I’ve appreciated and admired for a while now. It was her warmth and transparency that REALLY pulled me in (am a glutton for warmth and transparency). I knew I was dealing with a woman in her process. In her joy and in her wisdom. Yes, I liked her very much.

And how much she loves her work in the world? Her THING? Shivery goosebumps of resonance. Frankly, it’s precisely what we deeply desire for you.

So I asked her to please say more. From the sunshine of Rome, she delivered.

 

What’s your thing?

Amy Kessel: My thing is so much a part of me it’s hard to even call it a “thing”.  It’s what others have appreciated in me and what I have sought constantly since I was a teenager. It’s my ability to connect deeply in a no-bullshit, straight to the heart kind of way that enables whomever I’m with to see themselves more clearly than they could otherwise.  My thing creates a win-win situation: I find myself most fully at home in that raw space of heart level conversation, and the other person is thrilled and empowered by seeing her wisdom reflected back to her.

Sigh.

The tragedy is that I spent most of my career ignoring this gift in favor of using skills I half-heartedly honed in work I didn’t love.  And the pinch-me-I’m-dreaming incredibly good news is that I finally figured out how to turn my thing into a Thing.  In other words, I now get paid to do what I love and what I’m genetically programmed for.  My coaching practice brings me deep-diving women who are ready to get real with themselves.  I connect again and again, and bring to our conversation my innate gift along with my coaching tools.  Our work together is fulfilling to me on a level I had no idea was possible.

Double sigh.

Was finding your thing the result of a divine revelation, an insane invention, a culmination of insights…or something else?

Amy Kessel: I love this question.  When my youngest child was toddling around and I was beginning to think about life after fulltime mommying, I started asking the universe for clues.  My hunch was that I wanted my work to be aligned with who I had become since I’d left the non-profit world years before.  I wanted flexibility, independence and creativity to be part of my work.  I wanted to lead with my values, and top of the list was connection.

I had no idea what that might look like.

So finding my thing was the result of staying true to myself, staying with the discomfort of open-ended questions, and being game to explore.  I found my way to life coaching with an attitude of willing experimentation, rather than any kind of certainty that it would be a good fit.

I don’t know if it was a divine revelation, but I do know that I have never looked back.

Obstacles/fears/doubts – what were they, how’d you vanquish them?

Amy Kessel: I didn’t!  Fears and doubts are here and won’t be going away anytime soon, as far as I can tell.  I have all the standard variety fears, plus a nice selection of my own personal best.  I work with them by inviting them to the table, to see if there’s some wisdom I can glean from them.  And then I put them where they belong, at the sidelines, and I get on with my business.

It’s absurd to imagine we can vanquish fears.  I prefer to see myself and my clients as courageous open-hearted warriors with bellies full of butterflies.  Each time I overcome an obstacle in my path, it’s by choosing to believe the reliable voice I have within.  This voice may be quieter and less screechy than the voices of fear, but it is true wisdom itself.  When I allow myself to hear it, it’s accurate beyond belief.

What questions did you ask yourself to trigger your a-ha moments…and what signs and milestones should others be looking for in their journeys?

Amy Kessel:  What am I doing when I feel most at ease?

What makes me thrive?

Why do I want what I want?

What am I pretending not to know?

What wants to unfurl in me?

How can I best be of service to myself and others?

Starting with big questions, especially those that make us squirm, is a great way to find our paths and start walking them.  And making peace with not knowing the answers is a crucial aspect of these journeys.

Watch for signs that warn you that you have veered off course, as well as signs that remind you you’re on your way.  The best initial gauge is the body.  Listen to it, as it doesn’t know how to lie.  Heed its warning.  Or else!

To me, milestones are less important as stand-alones, and more helpful in reminding us of what we want and why we want it.  When we settle on what it is that makes us feel most alive, our job is simply to use that to navigate our way toward it.  All roads lead to Rome*, so even a path that turns out to be dead-end is an opportunity to find another route.  Use milestones to sustain you on your journey; they provide proof that we’re on course, and they give us opportunities to celebrate our progress.  (Champagne, anyone?)

The hard part is finding your why.  Once you’ve got that, and you call it your compass, the rest is a walk in the woods.

 

*Side note: this post was written on a sunny afternoon in Rome. 

***

Ahhhh…”willing experimentation”. I think of this trying different remedies to soothe the itch, but holding the scientific method (remember this from grade school?): Ask the question. Do the research. Create the hypothesis. Experiment. Draw your conclusion. 

Am also appreciating the “listen to the wisdom of the fears” as well as the call to “listen to the wisdom of the body”.

AND making peace with the discomfort of not knowing the answers. THIS. IS. BIG. Not forcing, not white-knuckling. Allowing. Unfurling. UnFURLING…this is a strong visual and one that is important in Amy’s work.

So in Amy’s honour, let’s start there: what wants to unFURL in you?

(let’s talk about this – really chew it over – on Facebook)

——–

You can find Amy Kessel at her site www.amykessel.com; on Twitter; or Facebook.

 

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pssst: if you’d like to share your story (or question!) with Thing Finding Thursday, please e-mail me at whatsmything@tanyageisler.com.

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Thing Finding Thursday with Mary-Margaret McMahon

Source: The Town Crier

Mary-Margaret McMahon is something of a Rock Star in my neighbourhood.

Her official bio: Mary Margaret McMahon is the city councillor for Ward 32 Beaches East York where she’s lived with her family for 20 years. A consummate neighbourhood advocate and connector, Councillor McMahon helped found the East Lynn Farmers Market on Danforth, has organized community socials, greening and gardening initiatives and worked as a senior manager and education leader. Her outgoing personality and positive contribution to the neighbourhood is what the citizens appreciate most about her.

Well, yes. And she is fearless, bold and committed. And a hell of a lot of fun.

This anecdote from The Toronto Star does a fine job of stating my case:

She’s dressed in a giant peapod costume, walking along the Danforth on a hot summer’s afternoon, urging passersby to visit the farmers’ market she helped organize in a nearby park.

A bunch of teenage boys are pointing and snickering at her. McMahon follows them into a convenience store and pointedly asks: “What? Don’t you guys like vegetables?” The teens are stunned by her frankness and are forced to admit they like vegetables, including peas.

How she went from “political unknown” stay-at-home Mama to wildly popular (unseating four-term incumbent by 9000 votes) City Councillor fascinates me. So of course I had to ask her about it.

What’s your thing?

Mary-Margaret McMahon: Helping people.

Was finding your thing the result of a divine revelation, an insane invention, a culmination of insights…or something else?

Mary-Margaret McMahon: Staying home with my kids gave me the opportunity to volunteer.

Volunteering gave me the opportunity to see how much small gestures, time, and energy can make a huge difference to someone. That made me feel wonderful.  So I got hooked.  I also grew up in a home with parents who were/are huge volunteers.

After I saw what I could accomplish in our pocket, I thought why not spread the volunteer bug and empower people across the ward and city to build better neighbourhoods?!

Obstacles/fears/doubts – what were they, how’d you vanquish them?

Mary-Margaret McMahon: The more I spoke to people about my idea, the more they empowered me!  Some tried to talk me out of it but I am very obstinate.  I worried about not having a Campaign Manager but was hopeful one would come out of the woodwork at some point.  S/he never did!!  But it didn’t matter!

Knocking at doors was so much fun and very empowering!  Some people berated me but it was good practice and gave me a thicker skin.

Plus I am an eternal optimist and absolutely love people!

What questions did you ask yourself to trigger your a-ha moments…and what signs and milestones should others be looking for in their journeys?

Mary-Margaret McMahon: I didn’t really ask myself anything except why not spread my enthusiasm across the ward and encourage people to be the change they wish to see.

***

Here’s what I’m taking away from Mary-Margaret’s experience:

  1. Talk to your people – Get their perspectives. Help them help you get excited about your thing. Let them in.
  2. Volunteer – see what fits.
  3. Walk your talk – literally.

And that asking yourself “WHY NOT spread my gifts and enthusiasm?” - and answering it with action – feels essential.

So let’s start there: what are YOUR gifts that you’d enthusiastically like to share?

(let’s talk about this – really chew it over – on Facebook)

——–

You can find Mary-Margaret at her site http://www.councillormcmahon.com.

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pssst: if you’d like to share your story (or question!) with Thing Finding Thursday, please e-mail me at whatsmything@tanyageisler.com.

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Thing Finding Thursday with Chris Guillebeau

You know Chris Guillebeau, right? He’s the founder of The Art of Non-Conformity and he’s taking over the worldliterally. His mission is “world domination” – but in the good way. In the “do what you love, make it happen, make life count, be good to others” way. He’s devoted to building an empire of world-changers, and, along the way, travelling the world. Really travelling it. Like, he plans to visit every country on the map before he’s 35.

And oh yes, he just had his first book – aptly called “The Art of Non-Conformity” – published.

That’s a lot of living. That’s serious living and there’s no map for it. Chris Guillebeau has actually invented his thing…

…so how’d he know how to do that – and then have the confidence to do it?

I wanted to know and I thought you’d want to know too, so I asked him.

What’s your thing?

Chris Guillebeau: Well, I don’t have just one thing — it’s a chaotic blend of a few different passions. I love travel and have been on a quest to visit every country in the world for the past four years. I’m a writer and try to publish at least 1,000 words a day in one form or another. I’m an entrepreneur and have never had a job. I go on tour and meet with my readers all over the world, in at least twenty countries a year.

But when you put these things together, I came up with a theme of non-conformity, or helping people to think differently and live unconventional lives. This is my main project that I work on continually.

Was finding your thing the result of a divine revelation, an insane invention, a culmination of insights…or something else?

Chris Guillebeau: Probably “something else.” I love divine revelation stories, but for most of us I think it’s more of a series of steps. I always wanted to be a writer, but I didn’t get serious about it until after I had lived overseas for a while and was turning thirty. I also began traveling quite a bit more then, and the two went together.

Another thing that’s important to mention is that my work wasn’t very good in the beginning. This isn’t false modesty; it’s the reality for almost everyone who pursues a career or even just a passion in some kind of creative work. That’s why it’s so important to keep going and continuously improve yourself. Perhaps the “insane invention” comes about after the 10,000 hours of refining oneself.

Obstacles/fears/doubts – what were they, how’d you vanquish them?

Chris Guillebeau: I still have many of them. I think the goal isn’t so much to vanquish fear, because in some ways fear will always be with you. The goal is to find a way to channel those fears into something positive and motivating. I think a lot about regrets, and when you frame things in terms of looking back later, it becomes easier. Most of us regret the things we haven’t done much more than the things we’ve done.

So I try to make myself jump even when I’m afraid or doubtful, in other words.

What questions did you ask yourself to trigger your a-ha moments…and what signs and milestones should others be looking for in their journeys?

Chris Guillebeau: What do I really want?

How can I make that happen?

What do I need to give up or sacrifice to receive what I really want?

How will my life impact others?

How can I encourage, inspire, or otherwise help others?

Who would I like to be? (What roles would I like to have?)

Is that all? (Usually there’s more… I always push people to go further.)

Regarding signs and milestones, yes, I think it’s important to have markers along the way where you can identify progress. For example, some might say “I’d like to publish a book one day.” This is a great goal, but there are many signs and milestones en route to its culmination. A few would include finding an agent, writing a proposal, pitching to publishers, receiving an offer, completing draft #1, moving to the editing phase, and so on. The more specific you can make your goals, the better — otherwise we tend to get overwhelmed or give up.

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You know what I hear in all that wisdom Chris Guillebeau is throwing down? I hear that it’s all incremental. I hear that you get better and better at what you do and clearer and clearer about who you are as you do it.

And that asking yourself what you really want to do – and answering it with action – is essential.

So let’s start there: what do YOU really want to do?

(let’s talk about this – really chew it over – on Facebook)

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You can find Chris Guillebeau at his blog, The Art of Non-Conformity; on Twitter; or Facebook.

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pssst: if you’d like to share your story (or question!) with Thing Finding Thursday, please e-mail me at whatsmything@tanyageisler.com.

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