Our daughter has a lot of questions lately. Things are shifting, ever-shifting around her and she is trying to get her bearings.

Images of caskets. Unattended teddy bears. Flags at half-mast. We have risen to her questions about Newtown in the most age-appropriate way that we know how, as most parents and caregivers have. We make our way in through compassion as we touch on issues that feel too complex for us to grasp. It’s excruciating to witness a little more of her innocence slip away with every tiny bit of information shared. A new layer of bark on the tender sapling that she is.

And of course, it must be said that every chance I get to hold her, I do, overwhelmed with gratitude that I still have this very moment.

It’s our seemingly contradictory role as her parents to meet her needs with love and presence and then stand back to allow her independence and interdependence to flourish. To be her safe place to land as well as her spring board from which to soar.

We are trying to allow our own grief and vulnerability to hold some space and not attach too much to it when the gears shift suddenly to another topic, like Santa.

Tonight will likely mark her last visit to see him with the true belief of his existence in her heart. Her questions have become far more sophisticated, that yawning space between middle childhood and adolescence starting to close. Though, for one last year, her healthy skepticism has yielded to her hopeful belief in magic.

In school, the debate about Santa rages on: the Cynics who admonish those who still believe for being naïve vs the Skeptics who want to understand the truth (even as they have fear, doubts and apprehensions).

Fertile ground for debates of the future.

As the tragedy in Newtown is bound to become further politicized in the dark days ahead, it’s my hope that we can move from cynicism toward skepticism and from there, towards contribution. As ever, the way in is through compassion.

Two pieces of news.

They are unrelated, but not.

One: I am speaking at TEDxWomen on December 1. (My hands just shook as I typed that: I. Am. Speaking. At. TEDxWomen. On. December 1). So, you know, kinda a big deal.

Two: I finally got rid of the paint cans on my front porch.

Which one would you like to hear about first…the paint cans you say? Well, if you insist.

We have no garage, so unfortunately for our neighbours, we have become, over time, THOSE PEOPLE who store crap on their front porch. You know, stuff that no longer belongs in the house, but is one step away from the proper disposal. Like all bad habits, it was an innocuous first step that became a slippery slope of incremental crap housing. One bag of mortar mix begat the paint cans which begat the long-forgotten wagon which begat the ladder etc.

Getting rid of said paint cans has been on (though admittedly low-down on) the to-do list for longer than I care to share.

Oh, I’ve known where I need to take them. In fact, I’m pretty sure a two minute Google search would tell me who would come and pick them up for me. Safely. It’s just NOT been a priority.

Then one morning, as I was supposed to be writing my TEDxWomen talk (ahem), I received a group email:

Something that frustrates me to no end is not having easy access to information that teaches and shows us how to easily, safely and responsibly dispose of household hazardous waste items. 

Been hoarding a bag of batteries in your ‘bits and bobs drawer’ since high school?  Politely ignoring the leftover solvents and paints that are hiding beneath a tarp under your back deck or on your porch from that redecorating project in 2005?

Ummmmmmmmmm. Yes.

I identified with it. Fully and completely. It’s like she was writing with one eye on me. But you can read in these words that this rich context is likely borne of HER own experience, not mine. And it landed. Boom.

So, a short trip to the closest depot one day later, our front porch is (mostly) clear.

Identification leads to action.

So, about that TEDxWomen talk.

I’m tackling a topic that lives dead smack in the middle of my heart: how the Impostor Complex keeps people from their dreams. And to me, this is unacceptable, so I’m taking it down.

At the highest level, I know the talk will be grand: smart stuff, with a whole process, charming stories ‘n everything.

Annnnnnnnnd naturally, MY Impostor Complex is having a field day reminding me how woefully incompetent I am. How there are people far more qualified to speak to the topic than me. How I’m not funny, or smart, or captivating, or…

I’ve been struggling with the words. Procrastinating. Needling the nuances, incanting, sweating, fretting and tearing my hair out.  Because it really, really matters to me.

Hell on the ego, but heavenly fertile ground for developing honest and authentic content.

The more clever I notice myself wanting to become, or smarter, or funnier, or deeper or more poetic, the more I feel disconnected from the truth that MUST imbue my words. Which disconnects me from the point. Which will disconnect the audience from me.

Also not acceptable. Not for the work I need to do.

So here’s what the audience at TEDxWomen Isfeld can expect:

I will share what I know of my own experience with the Impostor Complex and the process I use with the hundreds of clients I’ve worked with.  I will share in my way, in my language and in my voice and some will identify with my words (and some will not). And some will take action (and some will not).

And you? Are you giving people the chance to experience you? Or are you hiding behind clever, or funnier, or deeper or more poetic, too?

My request: bring the fullest, most truthful expression of you, glorious YOU. Your people will identify and then take action. Promise.

And isn’t that the point?

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PS – The price of my Clarity Session (which have been likened to divining rods) goes up Jan 1. Now’s a pretty good time to book one. xoxo

It’s with about 27,603 different kinds of excitement that I announce today that Michelle Ward (THE When I Grow Up Coach) and I have a Golden Ticket to give you.

We’ve been dreaming and scheming for MONTHS now, and unlike Willy Wonka, we’re not asking you to search all the chocolate bars in all the land to find it. Instead, click here to learn how we plan to make sure you not only love what you do, but how you do it.

And because Golden Tickets go with delicious sweets, we have a Golden Ticket Goodies list that will deliver deliciousness to your Inbox each and every day from us + our creative collective of fabulous friends (Jennifer Louden, Danielle LaPorte, Jennifer Lee, Jamie Ridler, Kate Swoboda, Alexandra Franzen, Bridget Pilloud, Erika Lyremark, Carrie Klassen, Jessica Swift, Molly Mahar, Tiffany Moore, Dyana Valentine and April Bowles Olin). Then, all will be revealed on October 15th to the lovelies on the list, and on October 16th to the public at large.

Click here to get your Golden Ticket Goodies.

Huzzah!

This Friday, September 28^th (allllll day!) is my 40^th birthday.

Two things will happen. I’ll share with you a fabulous moment-of-birth story (it’s a goodie that explains a LOT) ANNND you can get my Board of Your Life kit (normally $150) for any amount you CHOOSE to pay.

YIPPEE and HUZZAH!!!

After September 29^th, the Board of Your Life Kit will be going on a little hiatus while I make some updates that I’ve been chomping at the bit to make. Not exactly sure when it will be available again, so get it now, on Friday, while you can (and I repeat) FOR ANY AMOUNT YOU CHOOSE TO PAY!

Here’s what to do:

1)      Any time after 12:01am on Sept 28^th, when you come back here, you’ll click on the Board of Your Life Pay What You Choose graphic. That will lead you to the checkout where the price field is editable. The price will say $150…change it to whatever makes your heart and wallet smile. You’ll then finish payment via PayPal.

2)      Contact us if:

a) You plan on making multiple payments or another offer.  If you want to pay some now and some later, grand. Email beth@tanyageisler.com and let her (and me) know your intentions.

b) If you aren’t set up for PayPal, or would rather pay by cheque/email transfer, that’s equally grand. Again, let Beth know and she’ll make sure that you are set up.

The finer print:

1)      This offer is only for the Board of Your Life KIT and not for my coaching OR for my facilitation of your Board of Your Life experience.

2)      The Board of Your Life kit retails for $150 CDN. A lot of energy went into creating it and an inordinate amount of thought went into pricing it…please calibrate your offer accordingly. Karma is always in effect.

3)      Please, please, please be patient with Beth and I. If you reach out to us with an offer, we will get back to you as soon as we are able. That said, if you have any questions, now’s the time to ask them.

4)      If you own the kit already and want to buy a copy for a friend at the pay-what-you-choose rate, do let us know so we can send it on your behalf (you sweet, gorgeous, generous thing, you).

5)      The offer expires at midnight Sept 28^th. Period.

See you on Friday…I’ll be the 40-year old singing Jack + Diane like it’s her job.

Love,

Using “Calm down” and “Relax” as an imperative command has about a 100% failure rate.

I know, I know…you TOTALLY mean well. You really believe that if that person who is majorly stressed could calm down then they’d see the fullness of the situation. That breathing would allow fresh perspective. That by slowing their heart rate, they are taking care of their overtaxed selves. And so on.

Got it. And so do they.

But it doesn’t quite work like that, does it? In fact, it typically has the OPPOSITE effect, right? That’s because you are dismissing the gravity of what they are experiencing. You are condescending them by telling them how they should feel. Attempting to alter their experience in a moment is suggesting that they are not to be trusted with their emotions. Ugh. Unhelpful and frankly, annoying (but seriously, bless you for caring).

So stop doing it.

Part of the charge is that some people don’t know HOW to relax, exacerbating the tension and compounding their feelings of inadequacy, which were probably the source of stress to begin with (most stress is related to a sense of inadequacy). But unfortunately for you, you well-intentioned Zen Master, telling them HOW to relax isn’t going to make anything much better.

In Gretchen Rubin’s Happier At Home (LOVE), she bristles at the woman who tries to ram meditation down her throat, saying pointedly:

“I often remind myself that just because something makes me happy doesn’t mean it makes other people happy, and vice versa”.

We each need to find our own way into this.

For many, the very idea of relaxation is synonymous with boredom. They feel that it’s a waste of time, a dreaded “should”, foreign and uncomfortable. For most of my life, that was my truth.

“Relaxing” takes effort. Willpower. Force. Kinda like barreling through yellow lights to get to yoga class so you can get your zen on. Exceptionally counterintuitive.

Here’s what I’m finding works much, MUCH better.

Find out what the endpoint of relaxation is to you. Or another way in: how do you want to feel when you are relaxed? Refreshed? Recharged? Clearer? Prepared?

Now think about what engenders that feeling for you. Is it your yoga practice? Is it the way you feel when you are in a hot bubble bath with a glass of wine and some James Taylor? Is it wandering aimlessly in a museum? Is it surfing? Is it creating a new soup? Or is it how you feel in lotus position on your meditation pillow?

And now, notice what’s going on when you’re in that space, when you’re in flow and all is right with the world. Like, say you picked creating a new soup…notice what’s here: sensuality, creativity, delight, focus, wonder. Can you feel that? How much more yummy is that than sitting quietly trying to beat your monkey brain into submission?

Uh huh.

So, next time you are trying to relax, or, heaven forbid, someone TELLS you to relax, pause, take a breath and conjure your scenario, inviting in those attributes of sensuality, creativity, delight, focus or wonder (or whatever they are). You can do it. Ease into it, relishing and savouring what’s here…in THIS moment. That’s YOUR brand of relaxation. Wholly unique and utterly sacred.

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And if you want a sample coaching session before I stop offering them, relax (heh heh)…there’s still time.  Email me to book by Sept 28^th.

A couple of months ago, I treated myself to an astrological reading with Ophira Edut, one half of the powerhouse combo: The Astro Twins. I had been receiving their weekly newsletter for quite a while (it’s one of the few things I read the moment it pops into my inbox) and have known that working with them has been a not-so-secret weapon in my friend Danielle’s wickedly packed arsenal.

So, it was my time. Oh. My. Word. I was blown away. Now, let me be clear…I don’t exactly have a super solid in with, you know, stars. Any of them. I knew that I was a Libra, but that was about it (really). Now I know that I’m a Libra, Gemini moon, Sagittarius rising. I know about my nodes, my houses. (Boy, do I know about my nodes ‘n houses).

The intensity of the 90 minutes is hard to describe…it’s like I was struck by a lightning bolt of recognition about where I’ve been, where I’m going, why oh why that place is so painful and WHAT OH WHAT that hunger is really all about. Me. But mapped out.

I honestly reflect on that session daily. In fact, several times daily. I’ve moved products and projects around…my office too. I’ve refined strategies, made hires and decisions (good ones) based on that hour and a half. I’ve made peace with aspects of my personal life and started fires in dead spaces.

So when Ophira told me about the new course that she and Tali, her sister, had created called “Become Your Own Astrologer” I knew it was time to introduce her to you crazy cats.

In this video, we talk about Ophi’s path, the tele-class, and how astrology may be a boffo tool for you, the Thing-Finding crowd.

 {Three things I want you to know: 1) I AM an affiliate for this course, absolutely. 2)Early bird pricing ends Sept 15th. 3) Not sure if Mercury was being his saucy self and being in retrograde and all (I’ll have to ask Ophi) but for reasons known only to my Call Recorder and the stars, I was cut out of this video. Alas.}

Interview with Ophira Edut for Thing Finding Thursday

Tweetworthy Ophira-isms (for your sharing pleasure)

• Astrology is like an instruction manual to understanding yourself. (TWEET IT)
• When something isn’t easy it carves out a new dimension of your soul. (TWEET IT) 
• When u know that s.t. may not be easy, u can adjust your expect’ns. (TWEET IT) 
• Astrology is a tool to give u peace + help u AND people u love make great choices. (TWEET IT) 

Transcript of edited interview (for your reading pleasure)

Tanya: So you know what we’re here to talk about today. We’re here to talk about your thing.

Ophira: Yes, my thing which is astrology, but it’s actually empowering people through the lens of astrology.

Tanya: Yeah. How did you find it?

Ophira: Well, my college boyfriend actually did a chart for me as a gift about 20 years ago. I didn’t even really know what it was, but it was this map based on the time, date, and place I was born that showed where all the planets were when I was born.

It was like this instruction manual to understanding myself, it turned out. It made so much sense that I was like, “Okay, there must be something to this.” I started doing them for people and learning how to do them myself.

Tanya: I love that, an instruction manual for understanding yourself which is so clearly where the empowerment piece comes in. Say more about that, please.

Ophira:  There are a lot of different types of astrology. Some is more of the doomsday type that’s like scary predictions that you don’t want to know. I don’t like that type of astrology.

Tanya: Not so much.

Ophira:  No, but when it’s done right it’s like all the planets were in a specific place at the moment you were born and they each represent a different energy. Some represent the challenges you’ll have, some represent how you are in love, what you were in a past life and what your destiny is, how you communicate, where you’re lucky and where things come easily.

It’s like putting together the puzzle of yourself and having this guide. Of course, there’s free will in there and you get to color in between these lines however you want, but I found it to be very validating and very empowering and enlightening to understand, “Okay, I have four planets in Scorpio, but I’m a Sagittarius so I have this intense Scorpio way about me as well as a fun, happy go lucky side.”

You understand all the sometimes contradictory parts of your personality and there’s some freedom from that.

Tanya: I love that, and that was my experience, too. We had a reading a couple of months back that still just sits right here because it was like you said. There’s a way in which you have this ability – you know what the lines are, but you get to color within.

You mentioned ease and one of the many, many, many parts of our conversation that I keep coming back to is where things are super easy, I’m always all about, “How can this be easier? Let there be ease. Invite in the ease.” It was fascinating for me to hear from you why certain things were just really easy for me. I found that very fascinating and where the places of challenge are truly areas of growth and what I’m here to do.

Ophira: Absolutely. Even when something isn’t designed to be easy because it carves out a new dimension of your soul and your personality by how you face those challenges – it builds character, I guess you could say. When you know that something may not be easy, you can adjust your expectations and then you’re not always swimming upstream. You can be like, “Alright, this is going to take me five years to learn instead of five seconds. If I apply myself,” blah, blah, blah.

Or, “Maybe this isn’t even something I need to be spending my energy on in this lifetime. Maybe I’ll put my best energies elsewhere.” It’s very freeing to understand your chart, as well as understanding other people’s.

I find that probably the people who read or work with both of us aren’t only interested in themselves, but they’re really interested in the people around them having a great life. While I was sold on doing my own chart, what really made me fall in love with astrology was how easily I was able to help my friends and loved ones – if they were hung up on a guy or unsure about a job opportunity or what to do next or how to figure out a child.

I just got into a random conversation with a woman at a café today. She asked me what I was doing. I was working on my book and she started opening up about her difficult Gemini daughter and she’s an Aquarius. I was able to give her some peace just in a five minute conversation. She was like, “I want to cry,” and she started by saying she didn’t believe in astrology, really.
It’s this tool to give you peace in your heart and help you make choices and help the people you love make great choices in their own best interests.

Tanya: I love that. I have that conversation, too. It usually starts out with a, “I don’t believe all that self development shit you’re talking about.”

It’s usually like, “Well, here’s why this is going on in your life.” I love that. It gives them some peace, and again there’s that quality of empowerment.

I know a little bit about your back story. This isn’t where you started. It started with that chart, you were in university. What was going on for you as you decided to zig when maybe you were thinking you probably should have zagged? What was that process like for you when you decided this is it?

Ophira: I went to the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan and I studied graphic design. I worked as a web designer and a graphic and print designer for a long time, as well as published my own magazine. All very Sagittarian things as it turns out, I learned in hindsight.

I even worked at Ms. Magazine and with women’s empowerment issues, and I still do work on that sort of stuff now – humanitarian things. I found that astrology was the best and fastest way to empower people. It’s really important that we obviously know about the politics and sociology and all the things that are going on in the –isms and all of that.

When you start to talk about those issues, people don’t always want to talk about it. Politics and religion are not always favorite party topics, and I’m the daughter of a very political father and a rabbi mother, so we have two of the taboos in one household.
With astrology, it’s a way of giving people advice or even addressing things that they don’t necessarily want to talk about normally in a way that they can still dismiss it as bullshit, so they’re open to it because they might hear something useful but they can still be, “Oh, I don’t believe it.”

Tanya: Awesome, great stuff. I wanted to ask you because I know you have a really exciting teleclass coming up. That sounds very cool. Five weeks. Say more, say more.

Ophira: Five weeks – every Monday in October for an hour and a half we are going to be teaching people how to read their own birth charts, my twin sister and I. We write as The AstroTwins and we’ll be giving that course. It’s called “Become Your Own Astrologer: How to Use Your Chart to Create a Life You Love”.

We’re going to go week by week in looking at what’s your life destiny, how are you wired, compatibility, and we’re going to spend a couple of weeks in all of your relationships. What’s the best career path – really answering those questions that keep you up at night, but not just answering them for you, but teaching you in a very practical, simple way.

No math, no pencils and papers or anything like that. In a simple way you can keep forever how to interpret your and other people’s astrological charts to really understand what’s happening there.

Tanya: Again, I’m just holding that vision of, “Here it is, and you get to color it in however you’d like. Here are the lines that have been drawn by forces beyond you.”

Ophira: Why not have another tool from the toolbox that can come in handy for the rest of your life?

Tanya: Absolutely. Love it, love it, love it. Just hearing your story about how you have this underlying, deep desire for empowerment for others, and then you have this delivery mechanism that totally rocks and you’re so incredibly brilliant at it. I can say that absolutely, it’s just one of the most powerful hours and a half of my life. I’ve been married and had a kid and all that stuff, so it was really an awesome hour and a half.

People who are watching this are in the process of looking for their thing or things and I always invite people to say what is one thing that you would love for people to know who are in the process of looking for their thing? What’s something that you can leave with them?

Ophira: I think that if you’re in a process, you don’t want to get stuck in analysis paralysis. There’s a time to be in the process and a time when you’re spinning your wheels in the mud. You have to know the difference.

I think gaining tools like astrology if that’s the one that speaks to you or coaching helps you get unstuck and make clear choices with peace around those choices and really moving forward. The more you know yourself too, the more you have something to go back to when things get a little confusing.

Tanya: Holla!

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Go find Ophira at her site and on Twitter. Sign up for the AstroTwins newsletter (it comes on Sunday and you really want it to help plan your week…honestly)

Ronna Detrick has Mama energy.

Firm in that “don’tyouberunningoutintrafficwithoutlookingbothways” kind of way, loving in that brow-soothing, “here’s a cup of tea and some life-learned enduring wisdom” kind of way, and fierce in that “don’t you doubt yourself for one blessed second, child, or else” kind of way. I could listen to her talk for hours (and have). I could read her words for hours (and have).  We have talked about things. We have talked about sanctuary, silence and faith. We have talked about boys (okay, that was part of a sacred weekend of soul sisters…no link to that).

On Friday, Ronna released  beautiful work called Inspired by Eve, which is, in her own words, an invitation to self-trust, deep knowing, and a delicious life of desire (along with the discovery of a God who offers the same). It is a crisp bite of apple and a deep breath. It is delicious.

It’s Mother’s Day, and I’ve already written a story this week about MY Mama, so I’ve invited Ronna to share more about her retelling of the story of Eve: the Original Mama. Lean in.

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We are all for living lives full of passion, potential, and desire. And we might even be all about taking risks and stepping boldly toward what we want. Often times we can visualize exactly what all of this would look and feel like. We’ve crafted and visualized the dream. We’ve focused our intention. We’ve even created a business plan designed to move us ever closer.

But most of us feel like we’re just on the border of all this. We can almost taste it. It’s see-able, achieve-able, attainable, but we just. can’t. quite. reach. it.

The thing, the relationship, the job, the reality, the income, the client(s), the life we most deeply desire seems to evade us – not by miles, rather by inches.

We’re living with a mixed up story of Eve.

Yes, that Eve. The one who was created from Adam’s rib. Who lived in Perfection. Who walked in the garden in the cool of the day with God. Who listened to the snake. Who reached for what she desired and got more than her hand slapped. Or so we’ve been told.

It’s no wonder we just.can’t.quite.reach.it: this life we desire.

This story keeps us trapped (often unconsciously) in places of shame, fear, and feeling like we’re too much. This story creates and perpetuate the messages that tell us to tone it down, play it safe, and color inside the lines. This story has formed the framework of philosophies of thought, structures of power, and politics of gender. This story has separated us from ourselves and from God.

Not the story itself. The way we’ve been telling it.

Tell (and live) a different story!

Eve calls to us, longing that we tell her story as she would. For she knows that if we could, we would find our way home; that we would hold on to and pursue our desires; that we would be (re)introduced to an intimate, knowing, and kind God; that we would take a big, juicy bite of the apple that is completely within our reach – and oh, so delicious!

Let Eve inspire you. She reached for what she wanted. It was not just out of her reach. Yes, there were risks. Yes, there were consequences. And yes, her eyes were opened – to new worlds, new life, new and amazing ways of relating to God.

What feels like it’s just.out.of.your.reach is closer than you think. Eve’s cheering you on…as is her God.

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Ronna Detrick provides Spiritual Direction to both individuals and businesses. Picture a hybrid of the iconic Oprah Winfrey and the slightly-irreverent Anne LaMott and you’d have a glimpse of both her love for significant, meaningful conversation (without the national media platform) and her impassioned writing bent (without the dreadlocks). She gets at deep truths and talks about a God and faith you’re hungry for. Learn more.

I was prompted to write about a favourite summer memory a week or so back by a tweet from the delightful Sarah Von.

Without hesitation, I poured out the memory that lives right on top of my heart. Fresh and pure like a glass of water.

I spent my summers with my family in a rented cottage north of Toronto by about 2 hours.

Wymbolwood. Kilometers of expansive white beach. Sandbank upon sandbank.

Every day, I would go for a long walk with my mother.  In this enduring memory, I am eight-years old. Too young to be distracted by boys, tan lines and reading Seventeen magazine. (That would come soon enough.)

We always walked to the same destination: Diamond Head (name coined by my cousin). It was a unique and mysterious house on a cliff that overlooked the cerulean blue waters of Georgian Bay. No one ever seemed to be in there, adding to the mystique. Two diamonds, meeting over the expansive front door. Huge windows, curtains drawn.

We would spend the walk creating stories about who built this wildly atypical building. A cardiac surgeon, perhaps, driven mad by heartbreak and vowing to only create structures found in a deck of cards. Perhaps his estranged wife was buried on the property (hole dug with a spade, natch). When we would reach it, we’d pause, take in the marvel that it was, shudder with goose-bumpy delight and turn back, satiated with story.

On the walk back, we would discuss what ice cream cone we’d have. Three o’clock was ice cream time. We’d invent new flavours (like “Cold Currant”, inspired by the waters we walked along). We’d giggle and hold hands, anticipating the rest of the glorious day. And when a shimmer of sadness would wash over me that this moment wouldn’t last forever (even back then), we’d run down a list of joyful things just around the corner: the CNE, back-to-school shopping, first day of school, my birthday, Thanksgiving, Hallowe’en, Christmas. Light and warm-hearted once again, we’d have reached our family and friends on the beach and en happy masse, we’d enter the general store and order our cones.

My mother passed away in 2004 and my daughter is now eight-years old herself. This is a memory I cherish. Pretty much daily. And if she were here for Mother’s day and her birthday on the 10^th, I’d be sharing it with her. In fact, I suspect I’d commission an ice cream aficionado to create cold currant ice cream and bring her a cone.

As much as your mom relishes the flowers, spa visits and jewelry that you’ll adorn her with on Mother’s Day, may I make a request? Will you conjure up your own favourite memory and share it with her? In your card or in your phone call?

I suspect that all she really wants to know is that at some point in your life, she was doing something right.

It’s HERE. HERE, I tell you. Here. The Board of Your Life kit is here. After four years of “I’m going to…” I finally did.

Relief. Awe. Joy. And more relief. {As much for myself as for those closest to me.}

It’s beautiful. It’s rich. It’s important. And it’s here.

I’ve spoken about the fear that I needed to move through. I’ve spoken about the support at the finish line that made sure I did.

And now, it’s here.

For myself, I have celebrated with champagne. I have celebrated with friends on Whidbey Island. Today, I celebrate in rest. Brownie-baking, movie-watching rest.

I’m not issuing any time-limited launch promises or hard-to-comprehend pricing schedules. The Board of Your Life kit is exactly as it’s laid out on the sales page.

Three guides filled with every detail you will need to have your own transformational (yes, transformational) Board of Your Life program. $150 CDN.

I am so happy it’s here. And if it’s for you, it can change everything.

“Creative” and “joy” were at one point in my life, mutually exclusive concepts for me.

On the mean streets of advertising, you were from one side of the track or another. You were either a Suit or a Creative. (Like the Sharks vs the Jets but with far less fancy dance moves.)

Depending on your vantage point: Suits = out of touch stiffs. Creatives = out of touch flakes.

Admittedly, I was a Suit. But I secretly harboured the belief that I was a Suit with a side of Creative. And no, not the kind that thought adding clipart to my .ppt presentations meant that I had a good design eye. (That sort of self-deprecating talk about my kind helped raise my stock with the Creatives, you see). No, I believed in the power of creativity, and that it was for all of us. And, armed with my ideological ways and Libran charm, I believed that I’d be the first one, ever, to bridge the two sides. I could see the value in both camps and knew our best work would come from bringing harmony to the creative process. And dare I say it, joy?

Umm. Not so much.

This work wasn’t about joy. It was about work. The industry is built around creativity was a transactional endgame. Get an idea. Get people on board. Cook it or be cooked. Someone’s not doing something right and with all that firepower, people get burnt.

That was then.

As I tripped and traipsed through the next stages of my life, I couldn’t shake my Pollyanna belief that I could be a Suit AND a Creative. That burnt as I felt there wasn’t a way to have it MY WAY. To be a powerful force in this world AND to be deeply rooted in a richly sustained and creative way. That I had something to be expressed.

It started with a new belief. That creativity may be about output, but it’s not about outcome. And that the process was the point. Not the product. So I decided to “try” to commit to a belief in the okayness of creating for creating’s sake. For the pure joy of it.

I started to see this: Advertising is a transactional endgame. Creativity is not.

And so, testing this new theory and buoyed by a desire to see some original art hung on our walls, my husband and I started painting. Just for fun. Just to see.

{We saw, and we happened to like what we saw. But that’s hardly the point.}

For the most part, I get the new approach right. And then without warning, I start to treat my writing, painting or other creative pursuits as transactional, and, like clockwork, I shut down. And shut off.

But now, I have a powerful ally. When I stop writing because I’ve allowed myself to measure my words with metrics like Facebook shares, likes and RTs, I have one fail-safe: I sit down to draw with my eight-year-old daughter.

She surveys the blank page, for but a moment, then fearlessly attacks the paper. She has yet to throw a picture away in a moment of “it’s not good enough”. Immersed in the pure love of her process, she just makes it better. For her and her alone. And there are rainbows. And kitties. And peace signs. And joy.

So, my desire for you is this, you Creative, you.

I want you to believe that you were born to create. I want you to believe there is untold and unexpressed beauty within you yearning to be released. It needs to trust that you will not judge its imperfections, nor try to force it into something it’s not. That you will love it for what it is. And that in time, when you have nurtured this tender new growth into the fulsome being that it wants to be, that you will lovingly release it into the world, so that others may rejoice in the beauty: of your words. Of your song. Of your silverwork. Of your adornment. Of your art.

That your “good enough” can move mountains, launch ships, set hearts free.

That your “yes” is someone else’s “YES”.

I want you to create for you. And THEN spread it around. With joy and abandon.

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Oh so much gratitude to Jen, Marianne, and Susannah for inviting me to riff on Creative Joy and for taking a strong and powerful stand for YOUR Creative Joy. Will you join them at their retreat in July?