I was either just called ugly. Or uninteresting. Or unpopular. Or all of the above.

Let me start here:: I know I’m pretty good-looking. (And if this is your first time visiting my blog, WELCOME! And I want to assure you that I don’t typically start my posts with conceit.)

But it’s an important place to start.

I’m actually in a pretty ideal place of attractiveness, truth be told. I can generally feel good about myself, and am not SO good-looking that it’s a problem.

I have friends, clients and colleagues who experience their overtly good looks as a serious impediment to being taken seriously, to being empathized with and to being celebrated for their brilliance.

That makes me pretty mad. And we move through it.

I also have friends, clients and colleagues who experience their perceived LACK of overtly good looks as a serious impediment to being taken seriously, to being empathized with and to being celebrated for their brilliance.

That ALSO makes me pretty mad. And we move through it.

Yesterday, I received an email from someone stating I was not a candidate to be on her show because, well, I don’t meet the criteria of being “strong visually”.

So…like I said in the title of this post, I was either just called ugly. Or uninteresting. Or unpopular. Or all of the above.

The first three drafts of this post had much to say about the hypocrisy of this woman. Her show. Her mandate.

But they didn’t make it past the editing stage. Too many swears. Not enough substance.

And ultimately? I get it. TV requires boundaries. Baselines. Limits. And tough, tough, tough skin.

(I also get that “not strong visually” is not ACTUALLY the same as “ugly”. But I’m working on that “tough skin” piece and have miles to go.)

I’m human.

And being called ugly, or uninteresting, or unpopular, or all of the above hurt.

But it wasn’t just my vanity that had me sobbing to my husband last night like tears were going out of style. I was over THAT by the time I’d rounded up my sisters (and sister) who took on my hurt with the love, rage and righteous indignation of a thousand wounded Mama Bears (bless them all) freeing me up to feel underneath it.

Here’s what I found that had me doubled over the chopping block in tears::

There are women with ideas far wiser, wider and more profound than mine that are keeping them to themselves because they don’t feel they are beautiful enough, smart enough, accomplished enough to be seen and heard.

I’ll repeat myself from my TEDx talk:: that to me, is UNACCEPTABLE.

Like, can’t BREATHE, unacceptable. Crying as I type this, unacceptable. Gasping for breath, unacceptable.

Please, please, please::



And also, I know this. At my very very very best, I try to shine some love ‘n light towards the woman who may well be in her own world of hurt. Maybe she has felt the sting of being passed over for her looks and finds using words like the ones she used on me soothes it. Or maybe she likes efficiency. But really, it kinda feels like there is a belief operating that we can’t both be happy with who we are. That we need to be on opposite sides.

Either way.

I come back to this. Can we once again, please try to find a kinder, gentler way forward? Lighter words? More heart? Sisters, can we please put away the scissors?


Two more requests::

1) I’m not interested in a debate about whether or not I am attractive…frankly, my ego couldn’t take it. And it’s boring. And reductive. (Plus, as above, I am at home with my brand of attractiveness, so honestly, I don’t need to know what others think of my looks…and I also hope you hear the love in this request.)


2) If this HAS helped you in any way, will you please let me know? It will make the impending vulnerability hangover that much more bearable. Moreover, will you tell me if this inspired you to be kinder, gentler and more loving to someone in your life? Thank you. Thank you.

With love,

PS – It’s the wildly gorgeous, talented and brilliant Susannah Conway’s birthday today and she has invited me and some other sisters to write about the empowerment of aging. And though that’s not what this post was about, I think it’s my 41 years that gave me the courage to press publish.

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Blessings for 2014

I’ve felt this forecast in my bones for some time now.

forecast for 2014

And may it also be filled with::

and the unwavering knowledge that you can make this year precisely what you desire. And then some.

Yes. Oh yes.


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I am a Force of Nature. Even when I feel anything but. You are too.

It’s been a bit of a doozy of a couple of months. Many, many highs, and many lows. Not a whole lot in the middle. But, y’know. I can take it. And all those highs are so, so gooooooooood. The lows are inconsequential, right? And besides, I’m tough and I’m softly malleable. I’m loved. I’m well-supported. I know what to ask for. I receive well. So, y’know, I’m good.

Except, I haven’t really felt good.

So when an “energy guy” came highly recommended by two friends I trust with all I have, I listened.

And so did he. Though before he could listen, he needed to clear some profound exhaustion that I didn’t know existed. Before he spoke to a profound sadness that I didn’t know existed.

Did you?

I’ll be honest that there’s is a part of me that wasn’t 100% convinced. I mean, we’re all carrying a little tired and a little sad, non? Part of the light and dark of life that makes it so, erm, rich, right? And then, I took a look at some pictures that were taken of me earlier in the day. There was a void in my eyes that I haven’t ever, EVER seen. And it scared the HELL out of me.

How long have I been sad? And then this:: What right do I have to be sad? I am so bloody fortunate and grateful and lucky and blessed and, and, and…

Sidebar:: Sometimes we get ourselves in a fair bit of hot water for not asking for what we need. But sometimes we don’t KNOW what we need.

Perhaps the reason for the long dispute over the source of the adage: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” is due to the fact that it’s incomplete.

Perhaps it needs to be updated.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle they might not even know they’re fighting.

Once I saw that I was IN a battle, I did what I do best, surrendered to the wisdom of some of my nearest and dearest and asked::

I could use your honest loving.
Have you been receiving me as sad lately?

Julie Daley spoke up first, within minutes.
yes. I will tell you. but I’d rather do it on skype, with you, not here.

As ever, she gave me a soft place to land. She gave me this question::
“what do you trust in when everything is pulled out from under you?”

Oh. My.

That my light is abundant, was my answer.

Julie Daley does deep, powerful and transformative work. She can hold your tears. She has no fear of snot (trust me on that one). She can hold your power. And her Becoming a Force of Nature program registration starts now. This is not an affiliate link. This is a you-need-to-know-her-power link. You can take it. You are a force of nature.

And so am I. Whether I’m sad or otherwise. Up or down. I am a force of nature. 

Related:: let’s be patient with one another, shall we? Some are fighting battles they didn’t even know they were fighting.

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Skepticism vs. Cynicism

Our daughter has a lot of questions lately. Things are shifting, ever-shifting around her and she is trying to get her bearings.

Images of caskets. Unattended teddy bears. Flags at half-mast. We have risen to her questions about Newtown in the most age-appropriate way that we know how, as most parents and caregivers have. We make our way in through compassion as we touch on issues that feel too complex for us to grasp. It’s excruciating to witness a little more of her innocence slip away with every tiny bit of information shared. A new layer of bark on the tender sapling that she is.

And of course, it must be said that every chance I get to hold her, I do, overwhelmed with gratitude that I still have this very moment.

It’s our seemingly contradictory role as her parents to meet her needs with love and presence and then stand back to allow her independence and interdependence to flourish. To be her safe place to land as well as her spring board from which to soar.

We are trying to allow our own grief and vulnerability to hold some space and not attach too much to it when the gears shift suddenly to another topic, like Santa.

Tonight will likely mark her last visit to see him with the true belief of his existence in her heart. Her questions have become far more sophisticated, that yawning space between middle childhood and adolescence starting to close. Though, for one last year, her healthy skepticism has yielded to her hopeful belief in magic.

In school, the debate about Santa rages on: the Cynics who admonish those who still believe for being naïve vs the Skeptics who want to understand the truth (even as they have fear, doubts and apprehensions).

Fertile ground for debates of the future.

As the tragedy in Newtown is bound to become further politicized in the dark days ahead, it’s my hope that we can move from cynicism toward skepticism and from there, towards contribution. As ever, the way in is through compassion.

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Calling all Entrepreneuses: A Golden Announcement!

It’s with about 27,603 different kinds of excitement that I announce today that Michelle Ward (THE When I Grow Up Coach) and I have a Golden Ticket to give you.

We’ve been dreaming and scheming for MONTHS now, and unlike Willy Wonka, we’re not asking you to search all the chocolate bars in all the land to find it. Instead, click here to learn how we plan to make sure you not only love what you do, but how you do it.

And because Golden Tickets go with delicious sweets, we have a Golden Ticket Goodies list that will deliver deliciousness to your Inbox each and every day from us + our creative collective of fabulous friends (Jennifer Louden, Danielle LaPorte, Jennifer Lee, Jamie Ridler, Kate Swoboda, Alexandra Franzen, Bridget Pilloud, Erika Lyremark, Carrie Klassen, Jessica Swift, Molly Mahar, Tiffany Moore, Dyana Valentine and April Bowles Olin). Then, all will be revealed on October 15th to the lovelies on the list, and on October 16th to the public at large.

Click here to get your Golden Ticket Goodies.


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Friday is Board of Your Life Pay What You Choose Day!

This Friday, September 28th (allllll day!) is my 40th birthday.

Two things will happen. I’ll share with you a fabulous moment-of-birth story (it’s a goodie that explains a LOT) ANNND you can get my Board of Your Life kit (normally $150) for any amount you CHOOSE to pay.


After September 29th, the Board of Your Life Kit will be going on a little hiatus while I make some updates that I’ve been chomping at the bit to make. Not exactly sure when it will be available again, so get it now, on Friday, while you can (and I repeat) FOR ANY AMOUNT YOU CHOOSE TO PAY!

Here’s what to do:

1)      Any time after 12:01am on Sept 28th, when you come back here, you’ll click on the Board of Your Life Pay What You Choose graphic. That will lead you to the checkout where the price field is editable. The price will say $150…change it to whatever makes your heart and wallet smile. You’ll then finish payment via PayPal.

2)      Contact us if:

a) You plan on making multiple payments or another offer.  If you want to pay some now and some later, grand. Email beth@tanyageisler.com and let her (and me) know your intentions.

b) If you aren’t set up for PayPal, or would rather pay by cheque/email transfer, that’s equally grand. Again, let Beth know and she’ll make sure that you are set up.

The finer print:

1)      This offer is only for the Board of Your Life KIT and not for my coaching OR for my facilitation of your Board of Your Life experience.

2)      The Board of Your Life kit retails for $150 CDN. A lot of energy went into creating it and an inordinate amount of thought went into pricing it…please calibrate your offer accordingly. Karma is always in effect.

3)      Please, please, please be patient with Beth and I. If you reach out to us with an offer, we will get back to you as soon as we are able. That said, if you have any questions, now’s the time to ask them.

4)      If you own the kit already and want to buy a copy for a friend at the pay-what-you-choose rate, do let us know so we can send it on your behalf (you sweet, gorgeous, generous thing, you).

5)      The offer expires at midnight Sept 28th. Period.


See you on Friday…I’ll be the 40-year old singing Jack + Diane like it’s her job.




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I know you mean well, but please don’t tell me to relax

Using “Calm down” and “Relax” as an imperative command has about a 100% failure rate.

I know, I know…you TOTALLY mean well. You really believe that if that person who is majorly stressed could calm down then they’d see the fullness of the situation. That breathing would allow fresh perspective. That by slowing their heart rate, they are taking care of their overtaxed selves. And so on.

Got it. And so do they.

But it doesn’t quite work like that, does it? In fact, it typically has the OPPOSITE effect, right? That’s because you are dismissing the gravity of what they are experiencing. You are condescending them by telling them how they should feel. Attempting to alter their experience in a moment is suggesting that they are not to be trusted with their emotions. Ugh. Unhelpful and frankly, annoying (but seriously, bless you for caring).

So stop doing it.

Part of the charge is that some people don’t know HOW to relax, exacerbating the tension and compounding their feelings of inadequacy, which were probably the source of stress to begin with (most stress is related to a sense of inadequacy). But unfortunately for you, you well-intentioned Zen Master, telling them HOW to relax isn’t going to make anything much better.

In Gretchen Rubin’s Happier At Home (LOVE), she bristles at the woman who tries to ram meditation down her throat, saying pointedly:

“I often remind myself that just because something makes me happy doesn’t mean it makes other people happy, and vice versa”.

We each need to find our own way into this.

For many, the very idea of relaxation is synonymous with boredom. They feel that it’s a waste of time, a dreaded “should”, foreign and uncomfortable. For most of my life, that was my truth.

“Relaxing” takes effort. Willpower. Force. Kinda like barreling through yellow lights to get to yoga class so you can get your zen on. Exceptionally counterintuitive.

Here’s what I’m finding works much, MUCH better.

Find out what the endpoint of relaxation is to you. Or another way in: how do you want to feel when you are relaxed? Refreshed? Recharged? Clearer? Prepared?

Now think about what engenders that feeling for you. Is it your yoga practice? Is it the way you feel when you are in a hot bubble bath with a glass of wine and some James Taylor? Is it wandering aimlessly in a museum? Is it surfing? Is it creating a new soup? Or is it how you feel in lotus position on your meditation pillow?

And now, notice what’s going on when you’re in that space, when you’re in flow and all is right with the world. Like, say you picked creating a new soup…notice what’s here: sensuality, creativity, delight, focus, wonder. Can you feel that? How much more yummy is that than sitting quietly trying to beat your monkey brain into submission?

Uh huh.

So, next time you are trying to relax, or, heaven forbid, someone TELLS you to relax, pause, take a breath and conjure your scenario, inviting in those attributes of sensuality, creativity, delight, focus or wonder (or whatever they are). You can do it. Ease into it, relishing and savouring what’s here…in THIS moment. That’s YOUR brand of relaxation. Wholly unique and utterly sacred.


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Thing Finding Thursday with Ophira Edut

A couple of months ago, I treated myself to an astrological reading with Ophira Edut, one half of the powerhouse combo: The Astro Twins. I had been receiving their weekly newsletter for quite a while (it’s one of the few things I read the moment it pops into my inbox) and have known that working with them has been a not-so-secret weapon in my friend Danielle’s wickedly packed arsenal.

So, it was my time. Oh. My. Word. I was blown away. Now, let me be clear…I don’t exactly have a super solid in with, you know, stars. Any of them. I knew that I was a Libra, but that was about it (really). Now I know that I’m a Libra, Gemini moon, Sagittarius rising. I know about my nodes, my houses. (Boy, do I know about my nodes ‘n houses).

The intensity of the 90 minutes is hard to describe…it’s like I was struck by a lightning bolt of recognition about where I’ve been, where I’m going, why oh why that place is so painful and WHAT OH WHAT that hunger is really all about. Me. But mapped out.

I honestly reflect on that session daily. In fact, several times daily. I’ve moved products and projects around…my office too. I’ve refined strategies, made hires and decisions (good ones) based on that hour and a half. I’ve made peace with aspects of my personal life and started fires in dead spaces.

So when Ophira told me about the new course that she and Tali, her sister, had created called “Become Your Own Astrologer” I knew it was time to introduce her to you crazy cats.


In this video, we talk about Ophi’s path, the tele-class, and how astrology may be a boffo tool for you, the Thing-Finding crowd.

 {Three things I want you to know: 1) I AM an affiliate for this course, absolutely. 2)Early bird pricing ends Sept 15th. 3) Not sure if Mercury was being his saucy self and being in retrograde and all (I’ll have to ask Ophi) but for reasons known only to my Call Recorder and the stars, I was cut out of this video. Alas.}

Interview with Ophira Edut for Thing Finding Thursday

Tweetworthy Ophira-isms (for your sharing pleasure)

  • Astrology is like an instruction manual to understanding yourself. (TWEET IT)
  • When something isn’t easy it carves out a new dimension of your soul. (TWEET IT
  • When u know that s.t. may not be easy, u can adjust your expect’ns. (TWEET IT
  • Astrology is a tool to give u peace + help u AND people u love make great choices. (TWEET IT



On the topic of things I’d love for you to know, Jennifer Louden + Michele Christensen, two gorgeous beings of heart and light and mad, mad wisdom are offering TeachNow (aff link). ‘Cause, Love? You may be a seeker, but you’re also a Teacher.  They want you to Teach from where you are. They want you to Teach from here. They want you to Teach the lessons that you’ve learned and are learning. And so do I. Info call is on September 19th.


Tara Sophia Mohr‘s Playing Big is just about to open (aff link). This is a heart-opening, game-growing, calling-forth kind of experience that invites you to go deep, held with love and care. Precisely how Tara rolls.


DING! DING! DING! LAST CALL FOR SAMPLE SESSIONS WITH ME!!! As of September 28th, I’ll no longer be offering free sample sessions for my coaching. So now would be the time to go ahead and book one, wouldn’t you say? Email me and off we go!


Transcript of edited interview (for your reading pleasure)

Tanya: So you know what we’re here to talk about today. We’re here to talk about your thing.

Ophira: Yes, my thing which is astrology, but it’s actually empowering people through the lens of astrology.

Tanya: Yeah. How did you find it?

Ophira: Well, my college boyfriend actually did a chart for me as a gift about 20 years ago. I didn’t even really know what it was, but it was this map based on the time, date, and place I was born that showed where all the planets were when I was born.

It was like this instruction manual to understanding myself, it turned out. It made so much sense that I was like, “Okay, there must be something to this.” I started doing them for people and learning how to do them myself.

Tanya: I love that, an instruction manual for understanding yourself which is so clearly where the empowerment piece comes in. Say more about that, please.

Ophira:  There are a lot of different types of astrology. Some is more of the doomsday type that’s like scary predictions that you don’t want to know. I don’t like that type of astrology.

Tanya: Not so much.

Ophira:  No, but when it’s done right it’s like all the planets were in a specific place at the moment you were born and they each represent a different energy. Some represent the challenges you’ll have, some represent how you are in love, what you were in a past life and what your destiny is, how you communicate, where you’re lucky and where things come easily.

It’s like putting together the puzzle of yourself and having this guide. Of course, there’s free will in there and you get to color in between these lines however you want, but I found it to be very validating and very empowering and enlightening to understand, “Okay, I have four planets in Scorpio, but I’m a Sagittarius so I have this intense Scorpio way about me as well as a fun, happy go lucky side.”

You understand all the sometimes contradictory parts of your personality and there’s some freedom from that.

Tanya: I love that, and that was my experience, too. We had a reading a couple of months back that still just sits right here because it was like you said. There’s a way in which you have this ability – you know what the lines are, but you get to color within.

You mentioned ease and one of the many, many, many parts of our conversation that I keep coming back to is where things are super easy, I’m always all about, “How can this be easier? Let there be ease. Invite in the ease.” It was fascinating for me to hear from you why certain things were just really easy for me. I found that very fascinating and where the places of challenge are truly areas of growth and what I’m here to do.

Ophira: Absolutely. Even when something isn’t designed to be easy because it carves out a new dimension of your soul and your personality by how you face those challenges – it builds character, I guess you could say. When you know that something may not be easy, you can adjust your expectations and then you’re not always swimming upstream. You can be like, “Alright, this is going to take me five years to learn instead of five seconds. If I apply myself,” blah, blah, blah.

Or, “Maybe this isn’t even something I need to be spending my energy on in this lifetime. Maybe I’ll put my best energies elsewhere.” It’s very freeing to understand your chart, as well as understanding other people’s.

I find that probably the people who read or work with both of us aren’t only interested in themselves, but they’re really interested in the people around them having a great life. While I was sold on doing my own chart, what really made me fall in love with astrology was how easily I was able to help my friends and loved ones – if they were hung up on a guy or unsure about a job opportunity or what to do next or how to figure out a child.

I just got into a random conversation with a woman at a café today. She asked me what I was doing. I was working on my book and she started opening up about her difficult Gemini daughter and she’s an Aquarius. I was able to give her some peace just in a five minute conversation. She was like, “I want to cry,” and she started by saying she didn’t believe in astrology, really.
It’s this tool to give you peace in your heart and help you make choices and help the people you love make great choices in their own best interests.

Tanya: I love that. I have that conversation, too. It usually starts out with a, “I don’t believe all that self development shit you’re talking about.”

It’s usually like, “Well, here’s why this is going on in your life.” I love that. It gives them some peace, and again there’s that quality of empowerment.

I know a little bit about your back story. This isn’t where you started. It started with that chart, you were in university. What was going on for you as you decided to zig when maybe you were thinking you probably should have zagged? What was that process like for you when you decided this is it?

Ophira: I went to the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan and I studied graphic design. I worked as a web designer and a graphic and print designer for a long time, as well as published my own magazine. All very Sagittarian things as it turns out, I learned in hindsight.

I even worked at Ms. Magazine and with women’s empowerment issues, and I still do work on that sort of stuff now – humanitarian things. I found that astrology was the best and fastest way to empower people. It’s really important that we obviously know about the politics and sociology and all the things that are going on in the –isms and all of that.

When you start to talk about those issues, people don’t always want to talk about it. Politics and religion are not always favorite party topics, and I’m the daughter of a very political father and a rabbi mother, so we have two of the taboos in one household.
With astrology, it’s a way of giving people advice or even addressing things that they don’t necessarily want to talk about normally in a way that they can still dismiss it as bullshit, so they’re open to it because they might hear something useful but they can still be, “Oh, I don’t believe it.”

Tanya: Awesome, great stuff. I wanted to ask you because I know you have a really exciting teleclass coming up. That sounds very cool. Five weeks. Say more, say more.

Ophira: Five weeks – every Monday in October for an hour and a half we are going to be teaching people how to read their own birth charts, my twin sister and I. We write as The AstroTwins and we’ll be giving that course. It’s called “Become Your Own Astrologer: How to Use Your Chart to Create a Life You Love”.

We’re going to go week by week in looking at what’s your life destiny, how are you wired, compatibility, and we’re going to spend a couple of weeks in all of your relationships. What’s the best career path – really answering those questions that keep you up at night, but not just answering them for you, but teaching you in a very practical, simple way.

No math, no pencils and papers or anything like that. In a simple way you can keep forever how to interpret your and other people’s astrological charts to really understand what’s happening there.

Tanya: Again, I’m just holding that vision of, “Here it is, and you get to color it in however you’d like. Here are the lines that have been drawn by forces beyond you.”

Ophira: Why not have another tool from the toolbox that can come in handy for the rest of your life?

Tanya: Absolutely. Love it, love it, love it. Just hearing your story about how you have this underlying, deep desire for empowerment for others, and then you have this delivery mechanism that totally rocks and you’re so incredibly brilliant at it. I can say that absolutely, it’s just one of the most powerful hours and a half of my life. I’ve been married and had a kid and all that stuff, so it was really an awesome hour and a half.

People who are watching this are in the process of looking for their thing or things and I always invite people to say what is one thing that you would love for people to know who are in the process of looking for their thing? What’s something that you can leave with them?

Ophira: I think that if you’re in a process, you don’t want to get stuck in analysis paralysis. There’s a time to be in the process and a time when you’re spinning your wheels in the mud. You have to know the difference.

I think gaining tools like astrology if that’s the one that speaks to you or coaching helps you get unstuck and make clear choices with peace around those choices and really moving forward. The more you know yourself too, the more you have something to go back to when things get a little confusing.

Tanya: Holla!


Go find Ophira at her site and on Twitter. Sign up for the AstroTwins newsletter (it comes on Sunday and you really want it to help plan your week…honestly)


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Inspired by Eve

Ronna Detrick has Mama energy.

Firm in that “don’tyouberunningoutintrafficwithoutlookingbothways” kind of way, loving in that brow-soothing, “here’s a cup of tea and some life-learned enduring wisdom” kind of way, and fierce in that “don’t you doubt yourself for one blessed second, child, or else” kind of way. I could listen to her talk for hours (and have). I could read her words for hours (and have).  We have talked about things. We have talked about sanctuary, silence and faith. We have talked about boys (okay, that was part of a sacred weekend of soul sisters…no link to that).

On Friday, Ronna released  beautiful work called Inspired by Eve, which is, in her own words, an invitation to self-trust, deep knowing, and a delicious life of desire (along with the discovery of a God who offers the same). It is a crisp bite of apple and a deep breath. It is delicious.

It’s Mother’s Day, and I’ve already written a story this week about MY Mama, so I’ve invited Ronna to share more about her retelling of the story of Eve: the Original Mama. Lean in.




We are all for living lives full of passion, potential, and desire. And we might even be all about taking risks and stepping boldly toward what we want. Often times we can visualize exactly what all of this would look and feel like. We’ve crafted and visualized the dream. We’ve focused our intention. We’ve even created a business plan designed to move us ever closer.

But most of us feel like we’re just on the border of all this. We can almost taste it. It’s see-able, achieve-able, attainable, but we just. can’t. quite. reach. it.

The thing, the relationship, the job, the reality, the income, the client(s), the life we most deeply desire seems to evade us – not by miles, rather by inches.

We’re living with a mixed up story of Eve.

Yes, that Eve. The one who was created from Adam’s rib. Who lived in Perfection. Who walked in the garden in the cool of the day with God. Who listened to the snake. Who reached for what she desired and got more than her hand slapped. Or so we’ve been told.

It’s no wonder we just.can’t.quite.reach.it: this life we desire.

This story keeps us trapped (often unconsciously) in places of shame, fear, and feeling like we’re too much. This story creates and perpetuate the messages that tell us to tone it down, play it safe, and color inside the lines. This story has formed the framework of philosophies of thought, structures of power, and politics of gender. This story has separated us from ourselves and from God.

Not the story itself. The way we’ve been telling it.

Tell (and live) a different story!

Eve calls to us, longing that we tell her story as she would. For she knows that if we could, we would find our way home; that we would hold on to and pursue our desires; that we would be (re)introduced to an intimate, knowing, and kind God; that we would take a big, juicy bite of the apple that is completely within our reach – and oh, so delicious!

Let Eve inspire you. She reached for what she wanted. It was not just out of her reach. Yes, there were risks. Yes, there were consequences. And yes, her eyes were opened – to new worlds, new life, new and amazing ways of relating to God.

What feels like it’s just.out.of.your.reach is closer than you think. Eve’s cheering you on…as is her God.


Ronna Detrick provides Spiritual Direction to both individuals and businesses. Picture a hybrid of the iconic Oprah Winfrey and the slightly-irreverent Anne LaMott and you’d have a glimpse of both her love for significant, meaningful conversation (without the national media platform) and her impassioned writing bent (without the dreadlocks). She gets at deep truths and talks about a God and faith you’re hungry for. Learn more.

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The stories of Diamond Head + a Mother’s Day request

I was prompted to write about a favourite summer memory a week or so back by a tweet from the delightful Sarah Von.

Without hesitation, I poured out the memory that lives right on top of my heart. Fresh and pure like a glass of water.

I spent my summers with my family in a rented cottage north of Toronto by about 2 hours.

Wymbolwood. Kilometers of expansive white beach. Sandbank upon sandbank.

Every day, I would go for a long walk with my mother.  In this enduring memory, I am eight-years old. Too young to be distracted by boys, tan lines and reading Seventeen magazine. (That would come soon enough.)

We always walked to the same destination: Diamond Head (name coined by my cousin). It was a unique and mysterious house on a cliff that overlooked the cerulean blue waters of Georgian Bay. No one ever seemed to be in there, adding to the mystique. Two diamonds, meeting over the expansive front door. Huge windows, curtains drawn.

We would spend the walk creating stories about who built this wildly atypical building. A cardiac surgeon, perhaps, driven mad by heartbreak and vowing to only create structures found in a deck of cards. Perhaps his estranged wife was buried on the property (hole dug with a spade, natch). When we would reach it, we’d pause, take in the marvel that it was, shudder with goose-bumpy delight and turn back, satiated with story.

On the walk back, we would discuss what ice cream cone we’d have. Three o’clock was ice cream time. We’d invent new flavours (like “Cold Currant”, inspired by the waters we walked along). We’d giggle and hold hands, anticipating the rest of the glorious day. And when a shimmer of sadness would wash over me that this moment wouldn’t last forever (even back then), we’d run down a list of joyful things just around the corner: the CNE, back-to-school shopping, first day of school, my birthday, Thanksgiving, Hallowe’en, Christmas. Light and warm-hearted once again, we’d have reached our family and friends on the beach and en happy masse, we’d enter the general store and order our cones.

My mother passed away in 2004 and my daughter is now eight-years old herself. This is a memory I cherish. Pretty much daily. And if she were here for Mother’s day and her birthday on the 10th, I’d be sharing it with her. In fact, I suspect I’d commission an ice cream aficionado to create cold currant ice cream and bring her a cone.

As much as your mom relishes the flowers, spa visits and jewelry that you’ll adorn her with on Mother’s Day, may I make a request? Will you conjure up your own favourite memory and share it with her? In your card or in your phone call?

I suspect that all she really wants to know is that at some point in your life, she was doing something right.

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