Truth and Lies with Danielle LaPorte

Danielle LaPorte is one of those people who makes you happy to be alive, you know? To celebrate living and being in truth, integrity and honour.

 

If you don’t know her (yet), she is (among many things) the creator of whitehottruth.com (a resource I devour heartily), author, speaker and commentator on the national CBC TV show, Connect With Mark Kelley. And oh so much more.

I’ve joyously connected with her several times (at her speaking engagements; a Fire Starter group in Toronto; and, an unforgettable phone session that I reflect upon frequently) and every time, I feel a touch more invincible, a bit taller and a hell of a lot more focused. She is gracious with her experience, her wisdom and her desire to help others succeed.

She hearts entrepreneurs and we heart her.

She generously (she’s like that) offered to be e-terviewed by me some time ago and, she is as much a woman of her word as she is a woman of her truth.

Whooshkamama.

 

The Quintessential Questions

My belief is that the disconnect between truth and lies that we tell ourselves is the basic difference between holding oneself back and holding oneself higher…whether we’re listening to our own truths or our own lies. You write about white hot truths…in the most sublime fashion. And I’m curious:

What was a lie that you told yourself that was holding you back for a good long time (in coaching, we call these voices that like to keep us safe and small “saboteurs”)?

I used to think that I needed business partners. That to really take my place as a leader, a voice, a minister of my rockin’ truth would have been a bit uh, arrogant, that it was more “evolved” to be “collaborative.” Of course that didn’t do anybody any ultimate good. I’m a Lone Ranger, and once I owned that, I was of greater service to everyone. And I laughed a lot more. A LOT more.

Bonus points if you have a characterization of your saboteur (i.e.Nick the Nihilist who always says “no, you can’t do that”)

I used to have a super ego named Starshyne McBalance. In all her 80′s New Age wisdom she had me repress a lot of power and pragmatism in the name of harmonic convergence and “keeping the peace.”

How did you turf that mo-fo out but good?

I learned the hard way. I’d “spiritualized” (read: sugar-coated, denied, made crap behavior “understandable”) so much for so long that when it all came tumbling down, it was clear that I needed to put accountability and integrity closer to the top of my “things I most value in my self and fellow humans” list. And at that point, my New Age alter ego knew she had to fend for herself. She’s working in an Ashram gift store in Idaho, hiding from creditors.

What’s the whitest, hottest, truth that you know?

Everything is progress.

What’s the blackest, coldest, lie that most people that you meet are living?

That they’re not worthy.

Do you have a physical reaction to a lie? (Note: if I feel one, in myself or one unrequited near me, I have an urge for a cigarette…so blessedly, it is rare).

When I know I’m being lied to by someone else, I get really quiet, like a Panther. And then I decide whether I’m going to pounce or prattle off. I’m usually just stunned when people lie, it just seems so, so…antiquated and violent.

What do you BELIEVE to be true but are still working on validating?

I’m actually working on believing less. Deconstructionism. It’s fun.

Is there a tension between the white hot truth-teller that you are (so gloriously) for AND the fact that you are (at your core) a self-proclaimed introvert? Please separate that collapsed distinction for us who think you must be one OR the other.

I am both and that’s that. That’s where I am in my life, a new place of is-ness. Okay, but to unpack it…it has helped me to find other freaks like myself to identify with, Thomas Merton for one. He was a remarkably devoted monk who craved the solitude that monastic life guaranteed. And…he loved the adulation that his essays and lectures brought. He also took liberties with a number of his vows, particularly the one about celibacy. My kinda guy.

What is the one thing that ALWAYS makes you giggle? (note: for me it’s the word ”fart”. I am a hit with kindergartners).

My husband has this annoyingly-endearing way of kissing up to me after I just wigged out on him about something. Smoochie koochie stuff that gets me giggling every time.

There is one truth that will set us all free from our own lies. What is it, DL?

I’m going to lean on Krishnamurti for this one. “Truth is a pathless land.”

Structures, and our lives and psyches are fraught with them, get between us and our knowing so often. Fewer rules. Deeper feelings.

******************************************

Accountability, giggliness, integrity, feeling, honesty, ambition, love, generosity, kindness, progress…these words make my heart sing. See why I dig this woman so much? You will too…just go and find her:

WhiteHotTruth.com
Twitter: @daniellelaporte
On Facebook
Cool new stationery line

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The Reframe

When I transferred from my old web site to my new (still shiny) site, I lost all of my emails. Every…last…one. Let me repeat: Every…last…one. After doing what every self-respecting Gen-X’er would do (going on Facebook to wittily bemoan my situation, which oddly enough, didn’t resolve the problem), I moved through the grieving process pretty quickly (am getting good at this):

DenialNo no, I’m sure it’s all still there. Let me close and open Outlook five to 25 more times…that oughta bring them back.

Anger – “Hello domain host provider…please tell me why my complete inbox has vanished and your explanation had better not start with ‘we told you to back everything up before your domain changeover’ because I am a woman on the verge here…oh no you didn’t just say that…let me speak to your supervisor… (note to self: be careful of this tendency to haul off on poor customer service reps…karma is a strange and powerful force)

BargainingOk ok…if I don’t have the emails in my inbox, at LEAST let my sent emails be there….AAAACK (and back up to denial for a visit)

Depression – No words here…just the sound of me hitting the Hallowe’en candy but hard

Acceptance – I guess they’re all really gone. For good. Sigh.

Here’s where I thrive….it’s after acceptance. It’s my stage 6.

The reframeWow. Empty inbox. Huh. No more flagged important emails. I wonder how important they really were. Chances are, if I didn’t tend to them right away, they probably weren’t going to alter the course of anyone’s life. I literally have no one to answer to right now. This feels kinda nice. Freeing. Expansive. Spacious. Maybe I’ll make those calls I’ve been meaning to make…

Not bad for an hour and a half’s work of self-talk, eh?

I love nothing more than a good ol’ fashioned reframe…and let me be clear about what a reframe is NOT. It is NOT rooted in some type of Pollyana-esque eternal optimism, which can be painful to behold in large amounts (though a healthy dose of that never hurt anyone).

No, it’s actually deeply rooted in one magnificent trait: Curiosity. If this is a weak muscle for you, give it a stretch…especially if you fancy yourself an entrepreneur….you’ll need it.

It is quite simple and goes something like this:

“I wonder what’s available to me now?”

Want to give it a whirl? Some scenarios for you to try it out with:

  • Your boss wants to move you out of marketing and into sales. You hate sales.
  • Your business partner decides the new joint venture won’t work for her.
  • The book that lives in your heart simply can’t seem to find its way on to the pages. You are starting to think about scrapping the whole idea.

I see glorious possibility in all of these situations…if it’s hard for you, give me a call. We will find what is newly available, right and resonant for you…and move you into action.

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And, LAUNCH!!!!

Welcome to my new website! I am so thrilled that you’re here. Really, truly and sincerely. This “space” is an amalgam of tons of thought, designs and words turfed, and new possibilities realized and embraced. It marks the end of me hiding behind a clever concept (Board of Your Life) and invites all that I am becoming. In this way, I am now free to live my own brand…sigh…that’s truly lovely for me to write.

Getting to this launch was not without its own unique set of challenges. Not from my peeps, mind you. D’NA showed up in their glory and did the design, development and photography in wicked time like the pros that they are. I was the challenge. My Type A side clashed mightily with my Type L (Lazy) side. At times I wanted to manage every minute detail and at other times, I wanted to just eat Cherry Garcia  and have someone else sort out who and what I am.

I had intended to launch the new site by September 28 (as a birthday gift to myself). I am a month late. I am okay with that…ONLY because Type A reminds me what we’ve learned about launching can be shared with you all.

How to launch anything (your business, your book, your BIG idea, your plan, your new direction etc)

  1. Connect with the WHY of what you’re about to do. What is the desired emotion of accomplishing what you’re about to launch. What’s it going to give you? Set your intention in stone and then don’t let it drop.
  2. There are many steps to take when launching anything. You will get bogged down in the details if you so choose. Recognize that this is your prerogative. And as you put up road block after road block, ask yourself why you’re still in your own damned way. Then politely ask yourself to please get the hell off the road…progress wants to happen.
  3. Stop waiting to be READY. You’re smart. You’ve done your due diligence. You know this idea of yours is viable, resonant and that the desired emotion gives you goosebumps. You are probably already 90% there. That’s an A plus grade…good enough to get into most colleges and universities for goodness sake, but not good enough for you, eh? GET OVER YOURSELF! The world wants you to unleash your own brand of genius on us all! If you wait for 100% ready the boat may have sailed…and you’re stuck alone at the port, champagne bottle unsmashed. Reserve the word “ready” for cooking chicken to make sure you’re not poisoning family and friends with salmonella.
  4. Trust your instincts…you are wiser than you know. AND be prepared to turn on a dime… As Seth Godin says in his book, The Dip, “Fail fast.” Find the way to be attached to the plan and yet, NOT à la fois. This is the secret of the successful entrepreneur who knows all about dichotomies. Know that you can always reframe, repurpose and reinvent. Version 2.0 is always slicker, sharper, smarter and savvier. But there needed to be a 1.0 first. The heart of the idea will remain…it’s the execution that may evolve.

So with this, I invite you to connect with what’s sitting at the very top of your heart…the thing that is ready to bust on out. It really wants to.

Again, welcome to my very own launch party. I am thrilled that you are here…please poke around, check out the pages and meet some people who have showed up for interviews.

And no party is complete without a loot bag…so before you go, please take this with you: to celebrate the launch of my website, I am offering twenty-five people who want to LAUNCH something (anything…big or small) a 45-minute coaching session. Just contact me and we can set it up. Please tell your friends.

Thanks for coming.

TG

PS – Oh…and while we’re celebrating, my dear friend Catherine Porter just launched her new column in The Toronto Star today – Woman’s Work. Funny, quirky, whip-smart and sleep-deprived…you’ll love her too.

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C’mon baby finish what you started!

I am all about starting, launching and getting going. Propulsion thrills me. Velocity thrills me. “Your best you. Starting now”, remember?

So, while I’m a big starter, I’m also pretty fascinated by those who are big FINISHERS. Enter the fabulous, inspiring and über-cool Dyana Valentine. Her motto? “Helping self-starters self-finish: one project at a time”.Picture-15-150x150

She’s been on my radar for a while, though it wasn’t until she issued a challenge that I decided to say “howdy”. Her challenge : 40 Days of Our Bodies – a commitment to tending to our bodies for 40 days and noticing the shifts that arise.

I decided to jump on in with committing to 40 days of yoga. No small feat, right? Hatha = hard. Here’s the kicker though. I LOVE yoga. Making room for a daily practice is a challenge, yes, but I started to feel that I was cheating myself out of the substance of this exercise…kinda like a vegan giving up liver and onions for Lent. So I looked a little deeper and I didn’t much care for what I saw…which is precisely when I discovered what I had to do.

On October 3rd, I decided to give up the smokes. FOR GOOD. Yup…that’s right. I had been smoking “socially” for the past two years (again). It pains me to type those words: inner monologue goes something like “you should have known better”; “how can you coach people towards self-care if you weren’t walking the talk”; “yucky stinky” and so on.

But self-imposed judgment doesn’t ever work too well with me (which is why I hadn’t managed to REALLY quit before). Here’s what does work for me:

  1. A good and resonant reason…love. I am 37. My mother died at 59. I am madly in love with my family…and I do not want to cheat them out of ME and what I bring to this life. Ain’t nothing more resonant for me than love.
  2. A good challenge…with accountabilities built in. I shared with Dyana and she’s been a valued source of support, inspiration and giggles. I knew she wouldn’t let me fall. And she won’t.

Am on Day 20. Half-way through Ms D’s  challenge…and 20 days into a new and freer chapter in my blessed life.

What do you need to be finished with so that you can get started on your new path?

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S-u-c-c-e-s-s

What a fabulous word…it’s succulent, sexy and yet somehow soulful. Yes, I am a sucker for alliterations, but I do love this word and its ambiguities. You can’t utter it without inferring “yes” and yet, the inherent question is “what do you need to say yes to in order to succeed?”. Early morning musings after a late night, to be sure…but I do wonder…what is success to you? To some, it may be all about the benjamins. For others, a spiritual renaissance.

While I am still blissfully defining and refining my own version of truth about success, I do know that by all accounts, last night’s Coach Buffet in Montreal was indeed a success. How do I know? I saw it in the faces of the clients and coaches, felt the energy in my scalp and toes, and read the glowing feedback forms from everyone involved.

There is no one secret to success (just google that and you’ll see that there are ostensibly 106,000,000 secrets). But for Coach Buffet, there were 3 very good reasons…none of them a secret:

  • WHAT – It is an excellent idea. Props here to Lisa for conceiving of it…she asked me to partner early along and we coached each other to the place of making it happen, but success does indeed come from innovation. People are hungry to learn about coaching and Coach Buffet is the perfect place to sample different “flavours” of coaching styles. Lisa was right…as she often is.
  • HOW – We worked hard…this is a core value for both of us. We clocked several hundred hours executing the strategy. Period. And managed to keep it fun and are still the best of friends.
  • WHO – We needed two types of people to say “yes” to this event to make it a sucess and we are ever-so-grateful:
  • a) We promised high-calibre Montreal coaches and by George, we delivered high-calibre Montreal coaches.  Julie, Amanda, Martine, Marie-Claude, Michele, Roch, Anne, Ian, Minnie, Corry ,  Louis and Alain are some of the finest coaches I’ve had the pleasure of working with. They helped promote the event and showed up last night with full intention of serving the participants’ needs. Their powerful coaching (even in short increments) absolutely blew the top off of the joint.
  • b) The participants who came out…a beautiful group of pioneers.  This had never been done before and yet they trusted the guiding force of their intuition that there was something for them in this evening. And resoundingly, it looks like they got what they came for. Bravo to the fearless and the brave early adopters!!!

So, I leave Montreal this morning, unabashedly basking in the glow of success for a job well done…and excited to refine for Toronto’s Coach Buffet on November 17th. We do hope you’ll come out, hungry for possibility and even, if you can imagine, just a little bit more.

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Thanksgiving

You’ve been here often enough to know that I am ALL about gratitude. For rejoicing in the many gifts that I’ve been given and hopefully spreading that gratitude around. So, of COURSE, Thanksgiving is one of my favourite holidays of the year. What’s not to love? Cool crisp days, warm cozy homes filled with the smells of sage and onion stuffing, wine, family, autumnal decorations and a festive note in our hearts. images

Here’s the problem. We gorge. We overdo it. Too much stuffing. Too much wine. Too much pressure to pull it all off. Heck, even too much family (yup, I dared say it….now please read on for the reframe). What I mean here is that it’s a hectic, crazy blur. Look outside your window right now…do you see any life? NO, because everyone’s on their couch rubbing their bellies with the phones turned off and watching the Seinfeld marathon on TV Tropolis. It was all too much to handle.

There must be another way. A softer, more moderate display of our gratitude for what we all have in abundance. Other ways to tell family that we love them and that we care: more frequent (and shorter?) visits. A little less butter on the turkey skin (uh-huh…1200 calories per serving…we did the math). One less bottle of wine. A little more chatting and one less side dish.

I am grateful for much…and choose to tune into it all on a daily basis, rather than binging on it over one weekend in October.

And now, I’m off to make a sandwich and see what the gang in Manhattan’s up to these days…but will leave my phone on in case family wants to talk.

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Carla Langhorst…a high flyer!

Every once in a while, you meet a really bright spark that you know will become (if they haven’t already) a really big bonfire…the kind everyone wants to warm up by over great conversation and maybe even some beers. I met such a spark on January 26, 2009. Her name is Carla Langhorst and she was the most welcome rush of warmth and energy in an otherwise cold and gray room (I do disdain networking functions…or at least…did back then…now I’ve found a way to make them fun).

She introduced herself as a “self-employed consultant” and at the time, I didn’t realize that this was a big shift for her to introduce herself in that way. Over the past months, I have reveled in her progress, her success and her friendship. She is a woman to watch. Here’s why:

  • She is the wisest 29 year old I’ve ever met.
  • She just earned her MBA.
  • She just launched a book called “Will it Fly: And Idea Tester” which is an important read for anyone with a vision and an uncertainty about its viability (and invited me to speak at the launch party…told you she was cool).
  • She is hilarious.
  • She has a consulting business called Make it Fly that is simply bursting at the seams.
  • This month she launches a new site called: smallbusinesssolver.com which was created for small business owners who may not be able to afford a business consultant’s wages. It was also borne out of her connection with herself and her values. Smart, smart woman. She knew that as successful (and here, I mean bucks) as she will continue to be as a business advisor, that she was likely not going to be satisfied in the long term helping people with the same problems and the same answers. She likes greater variety and wanted a product that could reach everyone…not just those who can pay top dollar. The Small Business Solver is a program that represents tons of research and interviews with small business owners (yours truly included) to tap into what their needs are…and the solutions. Do check it out…even if you don’t sign up, you will learn some aspects about your business that you may not have considered.  She’s very very very generous that way.
  • She has great shoes.
  • She is a world traveler.
  • She is a natural and giving connector and if you ever get the chance to sit down with her and talk about life, love, success and all things glorious, you’ll feel grateful to have her at your table.

I wanted to write about her because you know how I love to talk about people who step into their greatness. I also like to write about people who are tapped into their values. And I wanted to post about her today (September 30, 2009) for two reason:

  1. I believe in helping to build the businesses of those I dig and smallbusinesssolver.com launches this month (October 15th, 2009). Yahoo!!!
  2. On this day last year, she almost died en route to Tibet…elevation sickness. Twelve hours away from a hospital, she went into a coma for 5 hours and when she awoke, the only person who spoke English told her that they didn’t think she’d walk for at least three days…what with her temperature of 106 degree temperature and all. Call me sentimental, but I thought that story bore telling.

Here’s some insight that she shared about herself in an e-terview.

You are someone that I admire…who do you admire and why?

I admire my best friend. She is a rock.  She is one of those people who knows herself, knows what she stands for, and lives up to it every single time.  She believes in being good.  She is rather quiet, but she shines because she is comfortable with herself and is extremely happy because of this. I think that it is probably easier to be happy when you are being true to who you are – and she pulls it off better than anyone.

You are an idea tester. What is the greatest idea that you’ve come across (perhaps one that you wish you had have come up with) and what might you have done differently?

The greatest idea?  It is so tough to judge as it depends on the criteria of a great idea. I generally judge ideas on how they fit the people who want to push them forward. Often an idea doesn’t fit a person’s salary expectations, the number of hours they want to work, or their own strengths.

But to just judge an idea on its own, you have to know what the criteria of best is.  If the criteria is money (which is the traditional view of a “good” idea), I would say that casinos are great. I wanted to own one since I was 10. How would I do it differently?  My casino would go after a different niche – women.  All of the men serving drinks would wear revealing clothing, and the night entertainment would be significantly different. Instead of free cigars, maybe free manicures.  I haven’t narrowed in on a name, but maybe Cougar’s Palace. If the criteria is giving back, a neat concept, cool technology, or promoting sustainability, the best idea would be completely different.  I think that to figure out what is the “best idea”, people need to start with what is important to them. (ed note: DING DING DING!!!!!)

Was there a moment in your life that you can say “turned it around” for you (life, business or otherwise?)

No. There are many. I think that life is full of paradigm shifts.  The key is that each one should bring you to a new (and better) viewpoint.  Not to say that you can’t take a step back every once and again.  I took a step back last week. But the key is to keep striving for the next viewpoint and turning bad times into learning points.  Everyone has good and bad moments, that’s the charming part of life.

One paradigm shift that sticks out in my mind was when I first met you.  Everyone at the networking event didn’t seem that interested in speaking to an unemployed graduate student.  I kept having playbacks in my mind of headhunters telling me how many companies were on hiring freezes and the job offers I was getting were 50% below the offers given before the economic downturn.  And the shift hit me.  I had been in sales, I believed in the product which was me, why not sell that and become self-employed? That’s the exact moment you walked up to me and introduced yourself.  I responded, “I’m Carla, and I’m a self-employed consultant”.

What is the one word that guides all that you do?

“Fun” was my first reaction.  I basically live each moment, and fully enjoy each moment.  I figure I only live once – and if that is the case, I should have no regrets.  But you really can’t have fun, or at least appreciate it, without the other – connection with other people.  And I think the strongest connector is giving to others and caring about others. So I try to make sure that that is central in things I do.

What are you always giving away and what does that give you?

Anything I can really.  I make it a priority to do one good turn a day.  This can be as simple as smiling at a stranger, telling a woman on the street that she has excellent shoes, or something more involved such as pushing someone to a homeless shelter in a wheelchair for 2kms. I find that I give 30% of my time away to people.  In the end, most of my clients are a result of having done a good turn somewhere else in my life.  I think the important thing is not expecting that or taking it for granted.

Beyond the launch of smallbusinesssolver.com this month, what’s next for Carla Langhorst?

I wonder that myself. I do have a dream to write a second book during a 3 month backpack tour of South America.  But that is 2 1/2 years out from now.  Right now I want to focus on smallbusinesssolver.com.  I want people to know about it as I think that it is going to help a lot of people out there, but I also want to make it better. I know that there is a ton of potential for this tool, and I want to get it there. Imagine if the percentage of small businesses that fail was reduced to 25% – how much more creative and competitive would Canada be?  How much better would the world be if a country with so much potential could flex its creativity muscles?  I think that I’m going to keep coming up with ways to do that.  Why not have a dream?

On her first day of MBA classes, the professor said: “Live like you’ll die tomorrow and learn like you’ll live forever”. Carla was listening…and so should we.

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Birthday Wishes

I am enjoying a wonderful birthday today. And why wouldn’t I? I was feted by my family over the weekend, and both my husband and I have booked ourselves off for the day. First order of business? Latte…then moksha yoga. Deliciously hot. Our instructor kicked off final savasana today with a famous quote from Theodore Roosevelt. It spoke to me (and not just because I was bathed in sweat) and I wanted to share it with you.

It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.

“Citizenship in a Republic,”
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910

For my birthday, I ask that you be kind to yourself too…and know that it’s okay to come up short time and time again.

Off to feast on oysters for lunch now. Yup, it’s a good day to be me.

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You can’t go back…and that’s good

Know those people who are stuck in some place in time. Like, perhaps the nineties? Who really think that Melrose Place being on the air was the pinnacle of good times? That somehow they were part of that campy troupe of styling blondes saying drivel like “nothing like a cold chardonnay on a hot summer night” with zero trace of irony? Melrose Place is coming back…and I fear for those who think it will be the same. Because it won’t be. Not even close. The actors are different, the writers are different and here’s the kicker, like it or not, the viewer who’s been pining for its return is different.

Our ten-year wedding anniversary is coming up on Friday. It has been a beautiful marriage with lots of laughter and love on the one hand and some pain AND growth on the other.

So it was with a LITTLE bit of a heavy heart that I decided to go back to the scene of the wedding reception. I was scouting a location for an event I was to be hosting.

I walked in the room with a slight bit of uncertainty…I didn’t really know what to expect. Would I be greeted by the happy ghosts from 10 years ago…the jazz trio’s music wafting through the halls, the laughter and excitement that joyous occasion bring, along with the air of expectations for a perfect life?

In a way, I guess I was afraid to go back…because I don’t ever want to live in the past. And as I walked through the virtually unchanged space, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror that I fixed my complicated ‘do in 10 years earlier. I am no longer that young bride filled with dreams of how happily-ever-afters work.

And that’s good.

What I saw in my reflection was a different woman…still confident in the inherent goodness of the world, a steadfast believer in the power of positivity, and filled with a different brand of dream, but slightly more pragmatic, slightly more wrinkled and a hell of a lot more empowered.

And that is even better.

Our wedding day was a beautiful day. As is today. As will tomorrow be.

Different, and very very beautiful. 

 

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Start, continue and stop

You are glorious, do you know that? I just thought we should get that right out in the open. You are beautiful, creative, resourceful and whole and there’s not a thing wrong with you.

No truer words have ever been spoken. For real.

So, given that we know the above to be the truth, why do you figure that you aren’t achieving the results in your life that you seek (and results here can mean bucks, acknowledgment, mojo, enlightenment, peace, flow, joy, a grammy, tranquility or whatever your guiding force may be)?

Upon completion of all of my Board of Your Life programs and at the end of a coaching relationship (when the birds fly from my loving nest to soar…sniff), I ask for feedback. Why? Quite simply, I like to hear what rocked my clients (so I can continue to do the same for others…AND because it sounds so nice). I also *want* to learn what wasn’t so impactful. And that part is hard…no matter how “non-attached” and zen-like I intend to be.

I was introduced some time ago to the simple method of gleaning feedback: “Start, continue and stop”. What should I start doing? What should I continue doing? What should I (…inhale deeply…) stop doing?

Peter Drucker once said, “Half the leaders I have met do not need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop.” Yup.

Starting’s easy when you have a good reason to get going. Continuing is dead simple if you’ve got momentum working for you. It’s the stopping that is terrifying. What happens when you stop doing something? The fear of having to start something new to replace the stopped something can be brutally scary. Few people like change…and fewer still like to change.

To get where you know you want to go, what do you need to start doing, to continue doing and to STOP doing? (And, here’s the trick..you can do it all and still be your glorious you.)

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