I enjoyed 90 minutes of sheer bliss yesterday in the lap of luxury. A massage in one of the city’s premiere spas…for an hour and a half with my husband….we relished, cherished and nourished. And after the 90 minutes were over, I couldn’t seem to wait to get the heck out of there. What is that??? There is a tea room of luxurious proportions and a changing room with listening pods to heighten my bliss…and I’m thinking “let’s go and get some veggie dogs!!!!!!”

So what does this say about me? I used to have a golden retriever named Jesse who simply couldn’t wait to get to the other side of the street (knowing the park or the best hydrant was thattaway). When I cross the street unnecessarily prematurely, my husband accuses me of doing a “Jesse”. So…it would be safe to assume that is the reason I make a bee-line out of spas….to get on with things.

But here it is. Yet another confession. This time in caps. I FEEL LIKE A SPAZ IN SPAS. I am always fumbling with my robe sash, my flip-flops forever squeak and I perpetually lose my keycard. I ooh and aah over waterfalls, heartily huff the aromas of the teas and giggle when my feet are fondled. In short…I do not belong. My money (or moreover, my gift certificate) is as good as anyone else’s there, yet, I am a fish out of water…or, maybe a better fish analogy: a carp in a koi pond.

As I reread what I just wrote, I realize that the biggest distinction between myself and my spa-mates (other than my constant robe adjustment) comes down to the simple fact that I have not perfected the look of utter detached boredom. I could work on that, I suppose…but why bother? I think I’ll continue to rejoice in the treat that I afford myself twice a year…because it IS a treat for me.

Being more joyful in the moment…wherever that is (this side of the street, that side of the street, in a tea lounge or at a hot dog cart) shall remain my continuing mission.

Let’s get this straight…when I refer to “u”, I mean the letter and not that I have devolved into some a slacker texter.

I love “u”. Perhaps not as much as Melissa Etheridge might on Sesame Street, but I do nonetheless.

This appreciation became evident this evening as I watched my daughter draw my likeness. I’m happy to say that my smile (and not the frown that all parents secretly fear that their children will draw) was a perfect, huge U. We discussed the fact that my smile looked like the letter, which devolved into a pretty funny conversation; me saying I like “u”, her saying that she doesn’t just like me, she loves me and so on (“who’s on first, anyone”?)

So…why do I love “u”? Likely because it physically represents a 180 degree change in direction. (BTW, pet peeve # 57 for me…people who say “360 degree change” when they mean “180”). Think about U-turns (and the centrifugal force in your chest and spirits you feel when you do one mindfully and skillfully)…and then think about language. I find it very cool that by doing a simple 180 on the meaning of words by adding un- as a prefix, many have more power than they had in their (no pun intended) unaltered form: uncanny, unrequited, unadulterated, unbridled, unalienable, unfettered, unabashed etc. We rarely use these terms in their original form…so much less interesting.

Change can happen. Shifts can happen. But they are usually mindfully, skillfully executed. There’s effort in redirection, to be sure…but when it all comes together, what a rush.

And finally…add a “p” to and you get “up”. Could there be a more purely beautiful word than that?

Last summer, I was introduced to the step-wise notion of conscious and competence, or incompetence, depending on if you’re a glass is half-empty kinda person.

Step 1 is “unconscious incompetence” (file that one in the “ignorance is bliss” category). Step 2 is “conscious incompetence” (this one really sucks…“I’m aware how far away I am from knowing anything”). Step 3 is “conscious competence”…“hey look at me, I’m water-skiing…I never thought I’d be able to…SPLASH” and Step 4 is the anticlimactic “unconscious competence”…you’ve mastered it but are so in the zone that you forgot that you once didn’t know how to do it…but by now you’re probably beating yourself up that you’re consciously incompetent about a different skill-set.

At the risk of being accused for being altogether unkind to myself, I will preface the following list with the caveat that I am unconsciously competent at many things (most recently, reverse parallel parking). That out of the way, here are some of the areas in which I am consciously incompetent:

• Blogging (or “globbing” as our daughter calls it)
• Speaking Italian
• Tying scarves in that elegant Parisian way
• Making consistently good bread
• Playing drums
• Snowboarding
• Any sort of dance that may involve actual steps rather than flailing gestures
• Bridge
• Most home renovation projects

While there is most certainly more, these are top of mind today. And I’ve committed to myself that I will seek out counsel on effective blogging, so am shouting this out to the universe (or blogosphere or whatever this place is called…see what I mean?) So if you feel like you want to revel in your competence in this realm, please email me your thoughts, input, tips etc.

If not, I’m sure my 5 year old will have the globbing thing figured out before me and can give her dear old Ma some pointers.

One of my favourite word is “embrace” (“peace” too..I wonder what it is about the “-ce” ending). It evokes so many lovely and comforting images for me: from the obvious – warm hugs – to the more personalized – soft cashmere pashminas and luxurious bubble baths.

On Wednesday night, I came home after facilitating an Advisory Board session as part of my Board of Your Life program. I was reflecting upon the fantastic energy that was shared by that group and was sort of at a loss as I tried to get my head around what it was “like”. Then I received my Daily Om entitled “The Energy of an Embrace”. I realized right then, as hokey as it sounds, that this is what the program delivers…an emotional and intellectual embrace.

Take this excerpt: “Because a hug requires two active participants, each individual taking part in the embrace experiences the pleasure of being embraced and the joy that comes from hugging someone. As both individuals wrap their arms around one another, their energy blends together, and they experience a tangible feeling of togetherness that lingers long after physical contact has been broken.”

My program works on the same premise…two parties engaged: client trusting in their hand-picked Board and receiving their energy, support and knowledge, and Advisory Board honouring that trust, imparting their perspectives and insight and sharing in this person’s self-identified and desirable shift. And I get to be the lucky witness to this communion of energy. Divine.

My Mom had a lot of opinions about hugs. If you were going to bother hugging, then it ought to be a good one. The flaccid pat-pat on the back? Unacceptable. My husband learned pretty quickly what kinds of hugs would pass the muster in the Geisler family. Same deal here. If your intention as an Advisory Board member is to provide a pat on the back, thank you, but no need to bother. Someone who has asked you to participate is boldly stepping in a new direction and needs a firm embrace…”we are here…we will help you see what you are…we support you…we believe in you…we want whatever is best for you”.

And off the client goes…courageously but safe in the knowledge that that togetherness will be there long after the contact has been broken.

I was recently introduced to the visual metaphor of living an alive life being akin to a heart monitor. The huge peaks and valleys means that your heart is well and full…BA-BOOMP, BA-BOOMP. Living a dull life means that you’re near the middle of the range…almost flat-lining (blip-blip, blip-blip). This is not usually for me.

So, the upside for me is that, well, I enjoy a lot of ups. The downside? You guessed it…there are some downs. Light and dark and all that jedi stuff.

I succumbed to the down over the weekend. Could have been be brought on by a number of things. But, I did allow myself to be self-indulgent. I felt sorry for myself and even had some tears (not that this would come as a surprise to anyone who’s ever met me). Don’t get me wrong, I think have a good cry is not only good for the soul, I think it’s a healthy physical release (my grandfather also had a theory about it releasing toxins during a cold too). Here’s the reason I’m impatient with myself:

On Friday night, my husband and I were invited to a stunning gala in support of the Credit Valley Hospital. We knew we were in for a fun martini bar and some good time to chat with our gracious hosts. That was all we were really expecting. Then it happened. I sat down next to Tony and Sharon Clark.

Tony and Sharon are like the prom King and Queen…just being near them makes you feel cool. And when Tony told me their story of how they met, I had no choice but to tell the 63-year old that he was like a 17-year old…devilish, filled with mischief and fun. I suspect he has always been like that.

Tony was diagnosed with kidney cancer in 2004 and was told in 2005 that he had one year to live. Since then, he founded Kidney Cancer Canada (with co-chair Deb Maskens) whose mission statement is as follows: “Our Mission as the first Canadian-based kidney cancer support group is to increase awareness about kidney cancer and provide timely information to patients and caregivers facing a diagnosis of kidney cancer.” You wouldn’t believe how far they’ve come in 2 years. It is astounding.

I was sad when Sharon and Tony had to leave on Friday night as I really enjoyed talking with them both…about life mostly. They had to leave early to get on with theirs.

Next morning, I googled them. Yup…I’ll admit that I do this when I meet interesting people. And I came across this quote from Tony: “I wake up each day and say, thank-you God. I’ve got another day. People are just so busy that they’re not enjoying the journey. They’re just trying to get to the destination.”

So I was pretty surprised when I found myself feeling sorry for myself yesterday afternoon when I got some disappointing news and allowed myself to have a weep…and actually heard my internal voice ask myself: “why do bad things happen to me?” After that question was asked, I stood up, shook my head, thought of Tony…and moved on.

Today, I’m home with my flu-ridden daughter. And though the day is disappointing for us both (she wanted to go to school and play, I wanted to get work done), we’re going to sip chamomile tea and watch the “Sound of Music”. And enjoy this journey. Today, in the mid-range, tomorrow in a peak or a valley. It won’t matter. Life is good. Living it is better.

Today is “Do Over Day” in Canada. A day to atone for the mistakes we’ve made in the past by shouting them out as cautionary tales for others to heed. Yup…we have all had our days…am blushing right now just thinking about ALL of mine.

And as a nation, it turns out that we don’t like to talk about our bad days…or so says the Founder of the day: “It struck me that Canadians inhabit a maze of social conundrums,” says Reggie. “On the one hand we think of ourselves as an easy-going, polite, even mild, people. But there’s also a passive-aggressiveness in Canadians that is tempered, thankfully, with a collective deep sense of embarrassment about our many flaws. That’s why we decided Canada needed Do Over Day, a notion resoundingly confirmed by the over four thousand focus groups we convened for this very purpose.”

So very very cool. And while the day is not rooted only in the sharing of flaws, but also the sharing of joys, it got me to thinking: How great would “Relive Your Perfect Day” be? I’m not quite ready to share the days I’d like to “do over” for my grievous mistakes, but I will joyously share my perfect day….stay tuned for www.reliveyourperfectday.ca…

I have a tickle in my chest. It’s not nervous energy, nor a nagging feeling, nor love (though I have that in great abundance). Nope, this is good old fashioned phlegm.

No violins are necessary….I pride myself on not being one who’s life shuts down with a cold. The flipside is that I don’t get people who refuse to take a reprieve from work etc when they are TRULY sick. It makes me want to be aware of the slippery slope that is the walk from stoicism to martyrdom.

It’s a dance that I’m all too familiar with…the idea of getting caught up in “doing the right thing…at whatever cost”. At first, people look at you with admiration for your courage, tenacity, strength (fill in the blank). This phase is one that I’m quite addicted to. Then those adoring looks turn to head shaking. I could do without that. What I love about colds (I never thought I’d write those words), is that they keep you honest. I’ve been on an emotional high for the past little while with no signs of letting up. But my body is saying “if you don’t slow down, you’re going to get the head-shaking of a lifetime…in the form of mucous” (BTW, I have many voices in my head…infer what you will…I choose to call them “perspectives”). So…I look at this upcoming day from two perspectives: “Wonder Woman” who can do it all without breaking a sweat and “Bubby Tanya” who nurtures and coddles. Wonder Woman will have me honour 7 of my 9 commitments today (one to a friend, two to family, three to clients, one to my business advisor) while Bubby Tanya will make sure I have a big helping of homemade chicken soup, go to bed early and “rest rest”.

I’ve heard said that you’re either moving towards or away from balance…and I don’t have the formula figured out in a real and practical way…but listening to my body is a pretty decent start.

And now I’m back off to bed.

This is surreal….for real. I have just shared the last three days with some real people, real souls and real hearts – Life Coaches. And lordy Lord…we shared…and shared…and shared. We laughed, we cried, we zumba’d.

And now I type this out as I watch the Oscars Red Carpet (and have actual opinions on Angelina Jolie’s earrings and ask my husband if Marisa Tomei has had work done).

On Friday morning, our masterful CTI Leaders L.A. and Kelly challenged us to share with each other the following: what lights you up? What nourishes you? WHAT FULFILLS YOU???

What wondrous, magical questions. Can you sit with them?

If you’re wondering, many things fulfill me…depending on the time of day. But most recently, fulfillment has meant experiencing: Flow, Wisdom, Fearlessness, Faith, Spirit Guide,  Sunshine, Release, Harmony, Passion, Shift, Sofia, Catney, Queen Bee, The Sparkler, Jewel, Gypsy Wanderer, Fire Walker, Oracle, and Pema. I am richer, more connected and more alive. Thank you.

So…I return my attention to the Oscars. Because that’s what Om Shanti/Fire Walker would do. She’d enjoy the fluff and eye candy…without judgment of self or others. Angelina’s earrings belong on her ears and Marisa seems happy.

Pass the popcorn.

We spend a lot of our time being told what to do and what not to do. And then we have children and get to be on the other end (then they hit 5 years old and we’re back on the receiving end again… but I digress).

I have a ton of respect for those who “do”. I live in an amazing neighbourhood in Toronto (Danforth East). It is culturally diverse, eclectic and some would say “up and coming” (though others suggest that this gentrification is unwelcome). Call it what you will, but this it ain’t no cookie-cutter ‘hood.

A source of frustration for residents has been the categorization of the area as being a mere sum of its parts. Where the media seems to see only vacant store fronts and thrift shops, residents see a gold mine of finds (John’s Hobbies, Royal Beef, Relish, Seb’s Cappuccino). Where some see unkempt houses, others see tree-lined streets, beautiful parks and helpful neighbours.

While many people tend to get frustrated and bemoan circumstances, others DO. I have the great pleasure of knowing a group of individuals who’ve said: “Enough. Let’s stop talking about what this neighbourhood doesn’t have and DO something about it”. Over coffees and wine in each others’ homes, bit by bit, the neighbourhood has mobilized…thanks to the Danforth East Community Association.

The results? A Farmer’s Market, revitalized storefronts, and a sense of civic pride.

These things don’t just happen because we want them to…it goes without saying that it takes a LOT of work. Case in point…two days ago (in the dreary days of February), a group of neighbourhood women carpooled their way to St. Catharine’s to attend a conference on organic fruits and vegetables, leaving kids and businesses behind in other people’s capable hands.

What of revitalized storefronts? Last fall a group of residents got together to help out a floundering shop…check out this article…it takes a village to raise a store.

And as for the aforementioned civic pride, please read DECA Diaries…the love child of Natasha Granatstein, a very very busy woman who chairs DECA and wants the world to know what can be done…if everyone just stops talking and DOES.

Many thanks for the inspiration.

No one’s interested in something you didn’t do.
- Gord Downey (Tragically Hip)

Late breaking news from the Vatican…of the seven traditional deadly sins (pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth), the top three for men are: lust, gluttony and sloth whereas for women it’s pride, envy and anger. [Insert audible gasp here].

This is classic show-down between George Costanza vs. Snow White’s Evil Stepmother (aren’t all stepmothers evil in Disney movies…and what’s that all about?) I’ll leave speculations about the male psyche to the side (though I do still giggle when I think about George trying to combine sex with a smoked meat sandwich), but will address these top sins of women. I HATE to admit that these ring true for me. I spend vast sums of money at cosmetics counters searching for that elusive smokey eye, disdain Gwyneth Paltrow’s willowiness and am quick to be angry if my server goes down or I’m cut off in traffic.

So there it is…in black and white. So what can I do…because I do like to challenge myself when confronted with my own shallowness? I will read Gwyneth‘s website without judgment (just because she’s insanely beautiful doesn’t diminish her intention to spread a little of that beauty around), stop making up new ways to curse at my computer (and yes, other drivers) and maybe even appreciate my non-smokey eyes and the network of smile lines that emanate from them.