"Tanya is a kick-ass soul-liberator. I came into our jam session overwhelmed and confused about how to make money with my business. She expertly identified my blind spots and generated about 10 ideas I could use in the next 30 days." — Stephanie St. Claire

"Deciding to work with Tanya was one of the best decisions I made in 2010. Everything about my work has become more vibrant and ease-filled. Tanya is masterful at standing for my genius." — Dara McKinley

"I would not be where I am today without her and I am extremely grateful. Her process works and I recommend her to everyone." — Jennifer Torres, Founder

Celebrating imperfectionism

One of my very first boyfriends was C-O-O-L. Really and truly cool. Scarily cool. Like, rock star cool of the “not warm” variety. One day, we took a stroll on the boardwalk. He stumbled over a popped board and I made the mistake of giggling. (Sidebar: it wasn’t my intention to be unkind. Physical humour fractures me…pinnacle of hilarity for me is a football to the groin…it’s sad but true). He didn’t find it remotely amusing and went back to said plank to hammer the crap out of it with his heel. That was our last date. He couldn’t handle not being perfect in that moment and I couldn’t handle anyone taking themselves that seriously.

A beautiful thing is never perfect. – Egyptian proverb

The above quote circulated like wildfire in the twittosphere last week leaving me to wonder about my own relationship with perfectionism. I know it’s entirely futile and YET, I still bump up against it from time to time.

I succumbed long ago to the fact that I am a generalist through and through. I am good at many things and haven’t perfected anything. My risotto’s good, but I’ll not be writing any cookbooks any time soon. My garden is pretty, though admittedly, I ALWAYS prune the wrong things at the wrong time. Much like my words…I don’t always get them right (case in point…you may have noticed the made up word in the title of this post).  I am not perfect. Not by a long stretch.

In my five year old daughter’s eyes, however, I am perfect, and so’s her daddy. We are perched on a pedestal, bathed in love and light with rose petals at our feet and rainbows in our hair. This is lovely, warm and when I think about a time when she becomes a petulant adolescent who “wishes she were never born”, my eyes well up and I wish time could just stand still (more on the crying later).

The thing is, this devoted adulation, lovely as it is, has NOTHING to do with the parents that we are, or the job we’re doing and EVERYTHING to do with her entire sense of security depending on it.  It’s just a matter of time before she starts to see what we know to be true. We are fallible and flawed.  Oh, the inhumanity! In fact, the gilding has already flaked off of our cool-factor.

And that’s good. The moment she invites us down from the pedestal is the moment that she will be stepping into her own and truly on her path to her fullest. It means that she’ll be developing her own independence and brand of strong convictions. Starting to galvanize her own sense of right and wrong (rooted in some good ol’ fashioned values like respect, natch).

So I am fine with not being perfect (like I had a choice). In fact, I celebrate it from time to time…by laughing, a LOT. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry. My overt sensitivity may well be one of my favourite personal imperfections. It serves me well in my work and in my love for others.

Feel like celebrating your favourite personal imperfection?

6 Responses to Celebrating imperfectionism

  1. Fabeku says:

    I love this.

    Being able to celebrate not being perfect is huge. It feels like great big window of opportunity and liberation and awesome, all rolled into one.

    As someone that’s gotten tripped up by perfectionism way too many times, I am all about celebrating imperfectionism. And making it a word too.

    Thanks for the awesome post.

  2. Lindsey says:

    I love this. I’ve always described myself as an inch deep and a mile wide. Or, good at everything and excellent at nothing. My dad has been after me for about 25 years about how I don’t have any true passions. And he’s right. I wrote about this for Kelly months ago. It’s good to know I’m not alone in being a generalist!

  3. admin says:

    @Lindsey ummm…you are kidding me, right (about “excellent at nothing”? Have you READ your writing? It is as excellent as it is shimmery (as Kelly said). Exquisite as is it thinky (again, Kelly). And passions? I read in your words that there is passion in your achingly sweet search (and rescue) for beauty in everything. But that’s just me.

    And @Fabeku, am so glad you’re with in the celebration of imperfectionism…wonderful to know I’m in such good company (but please, you open the champers…I’m liable to shoot my eye out with the cork!)

  4. Pingback: Celebrating Failure

  5. Gina Stark says:

    Thank you so much, Tanya, for guiding me here after I posted that quote! I love your style, your heart, your expression. I’ve decided you must meet @jdistraction on Twitter – zebrasounds is her blog. If you don’t already know each other, you need to :) This is a high compliment (and complement) to you both! Big smiles and thanks for a lovely post xo G

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