Read & Watch

TGtv Episode 2 – Making the Ask

Okee dokee. Here’s ONE THING I know about you: You don’t like to ask for anything.

You’re the giver, right? Never the taker. And asking is so, well, gauche. Annnnnnnnd you know you need to start asking: for the business, for the support, for the meeting, for the chance, for the advice.

I’ve got you.

Making the Ask

I’m not entirely sure why we do this, but we want to have it be a lot harder than it needs to be. We imagine the ridicule, we dress rehearse for disaster, and have the escape route mapped even before we know what we want. So we don’t ask, and we don’t get and we don’t move forward. Rock solid, yes?

Making asks is actually really quite simple.

It starts, as ever, with clarity and preparation.

To recap:

In preparation for the ask, make sure you know:

  • Who: Who has what you need? Are they accessible to you? Are they amenable to you? And if you’re not sure if they’re amenable to you, do you reckon they’d be amenable to your REQUEST?
  • What: What’s the scop of the request? Is it reasonable? What’s the benefit to them?
  • Why: Why are you making this ask?
  • When: When do you need the request by? Make sure it’s reasonable and PUH-LEEZE have the drop dead date actually matter. (I once – ONCE –  sweated,  moved mountains, paid for childcare and lost sleep over a deadline only to discover that my submission wasn’t even glanced at until a month after delivery. Serious yuck.)

In making the ask, be sure it’s:

  • reasonable
  • specific
  • brief
  • respectful
  • and that YOU are confident – if there is any wishy-washyness, you may need to revisit the who, what, when or why and retool.

And in the unlikely chance that they take a pass, please know that it likely has everything to do with what’s going on for them and their schedule and precious little to do with their feelings or attitude towards you.

SAY THANK YOU!!!! YIKES. For someone with such a massive value of gratitude, it seems SHOCKING that I’d leave out saying THANK YOU in the video. Don’t YOU leave it out though, please! Find the most appropriate way to thank the person for their time, energy and resources (though don’t be afraid to be extravagant).

So? What did you think?

1) Please share in the comments an experience you’ve had with asking or being asked. What works, what doesn’t. We can learn from both.

3) I’d also love to hear any issues you’re facing in your business and life that you’d like me to address in an upcoming episode.  I solemnly pinky swear to do my best to get to your ideas. Let me know in the comments, on Facebook or via email.

3) And finally, if you received value from this episode, will you share it with your peeps? I would be most grateful.

  • @TanyaGeisler shares what she knows about making solid requests. (Tweet this)
  • Making respectful requests with good outcomes starts with clarity and preparation. (Tweet this)
  • Asks need to be reasonable, specific, brief and respectful. (Tweet this)
  • Asking made easy, even for those of us who are fiercely independent. (Tweet this)


PS – inundated with asks? Come back for the next episode of TGtv…I’ll be talking about what to take on and what to graciously decline. Better yet, sign up (and you’ll get The Joy Pages!!) and you’ll KNOW when the next TGtv comes out.



  1. Thank you. I loved watching this, watching you – you’re just lovely on video. And I learned. Asking is hard for me – very hard. As you describe, I’m used to (and much more comfortable with) giving than asking. Thank you for taking some of the charge off of things. And oh, how I wish I’d watched this yesterday. Oy.

    • …. and, I had to come back, laughing, to add that just two days ago, I wrote this, to my own tribe: What questions did I ask this week; what was I curious about? What answers arrived, even from indirect sources? What support, guidance or help did I call, ask or pray for? What response came? What did I learn from this?

      And what amused me about this, when I saw it, was that even though I say that I have trouble asking, I seem to be living in a state of constant asking/listening and listening/asking with the universe. I am fascinated by this. Fascinated that your video arrived, just as I was making an ask that was hard for me; fascinated that, in a way, it was a response to what I’d been thinking (and asking) about just now. Funny old world, isn’t it?

  2. Well aired and presented

  3. Okay, I know you didn’t write this with me in mind, Tanya, but it sure feels that way! We’ve talked about my trouble here. It’s so hard for me, but I’m working on it! Thanks for the succinct guidelines.



  1. The Gratitude Tarot cards revealed: Death - [...] new beginning                         brightly blooming                      or             painfully [...]
  2. Those First Moments — Hannah Marcotti - [...] beautiful woman whispered words into my ear that I’ll keep in my heart, but remember always as why we…
  3. Thank you. Again. | Tanya Geisler - Step into Your Starring Role - [...] you know that I walk my talk. I make asks. I send heart-in-my-throat requests that make me feel like…

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *